The End

I am closing it down.

Assalamo 3alykom.

You can follow me here on my now-relatively-old blog !

One of My Favorite Hadeeths

قال عليه الصلاة والسلام :

المؤمن القوى خير وأحب إلى الله من المؤمن الضعيف وفي كل خير ..
احرص على ما ينفعك واستعن بالله ولا تعجز ..
فإن أصابك شيء فلا تقل : لو أني فعلت كذا وكذا ولكن قل قدر الله وما شاء فعل
فإن لو تفتح عمل الشيطان

Handy Woman

I just fixed the cable of our receiver by remembering how my dad fixed it like 7 years ago (yes, it is an old receiver )

Ana mabsoota awy :D

The first thing it played was the infamous commercial:

Ebny beetak yabn balady kollena nefdal warak
Ra7tak enta hamm 3andy wenta awla nekoon ma3ak

Beeeeeetak hans3adak tebneeh
Kollena wa2feen gambak feeeh

من أقوال علي بن أبي طالب

من أصلح ما بينه وبين الله أصلح الله ما بينه وبين الناس ، ومن أصلح أمر آخرته أصلح الله له أمر دنياه ، ومن كان له من نفسه واعظا كان عليه من الله حافظ

إذا نزل بك مكروه فانظر فان كان لك حيلة فلا تعجز وان لم يكن فيه حيلة فلا تجزع 

إن تتعب في البر فان التعب يزول والبر يبقى

من عظم صغار المصائب ابتلاه الله بكبارها 

كل نعيم دون الجنة فهو محقور  وكل بلاء دون النار عافية 

العفاف زينة الفقر  والشكر زينة الغنى 

أسوأ الناس حالا من لا يثق بأحد لسوء ظنه ولا يثق به أحد لسوء أثره

إن النعمـة موصولـة بالشكــر
والشكــر متعلـق بالمزيـد
ولن ينقطـع المزيـد من الله حتى ينقطـع الشكـر من العبـد

Tiger Woods investing in Dubai

It is called Tiger Woods Dubai (Duuuh!) and it's Huge Project!

Today..

Today is Cherry's Birthday. She is turning 21 :D

Yuppieeeee!


And you know what? Everybody I know (and I mean it), is a virgo! September is like the birthday month for me.

My Favorite Color

Commoners call it Batee7'y. Formally it is Coral, But more specifically it is known as #FF7F5 (Hexadecimal-y speaking).

It really lightens up my day !

Purposeless Post

I have many unpublished posts. Mostly rant, post-fight emotions, ranging from simple quarrels that are actually funny, to waves of rage. Mostly they talk about the same thing, how confused I am, how uncertain I have become, how angry, apathetic and in total despair.

I am starting to get into a "I don't like this blog anymore" phase. I think a lot of closing it, or abandoning it, or just leave it to rot in the blogosphere.. Other times, when I write a new post and feel that I recorded something down, something that might be of a tiny winy use, I feel glad that I still have it.

But to be honest, I don't speak my head off when I write in this blog anymore. I never did actually, but now it is even more. Always the:I should say this, I must not say that. No rant about work no rant about family no rant about friends, no rant at all!! All my rants are unpublished. It is not that I mind, I mean the process of writing down what I feel and channeling out whatever useless and unrelated series of thoughts is good enough for me.


Tesba7o 3ala 7'eer.

Decision

I decided that this Ramadan insha'Allah I will try to read the Qura'an differently. Year after year, and time after time, I read many verses that i could not understand, or misunderstood. I decided that I will read it slower this time but just to read it better. I will probably try reading out of ketab tafseer. I mean if I could get deeper meanings out of novels I read and movies I watch, I better get deeper meanings from the verses of the Quraan.

The main thing that I want to understand is: coherency. I don't know if others have these questions or not, but I usually wonder why a certain Suraah is named a certain name, or why are these two seemingly different topics mentioned beside each other in the same Suraah? Why is the most mentioned prophet Story is Sayedna Musa with Bany-Israel? I have many other questions that have to do with the Arabic structure of the Ayahs and whether there is a significance of the ordering of the Surahs, the circumstances behind some Ayahs and Suraahs that would definitly clarify a lot of things about the Quraan. I am sad that I know so much about other things (that might be even useless) than I know about what Allah has to say to humanity.

AfterMath

Cherry: oojy, howa delwa2ty ba3d lamma Maglesh el Shoora et7ara2, el nass lamma yeego yastasheeroh ba3d, "Hayglesoh" feen?
Me: 3'aleban fel beta3 elly gambeeh, fe Maglesh el Sha3b.
Cherry: Tab keda mesh hayb2a za7ma? w ba3deen akeed homma mesh yeglesoh ma3 el sha3b.
Me: Ma homma hayzzana2oh ba2a w yesta7meloh ba3d shwaya.. They will take turns.
Cherry: hmmm.. bardo mesh moqtane3a
Me:ao moken yestasheeroh ba3d 3al wa2ef
Cherry: fekra bardo, yeb2a keda hay7'doh qararat besor3a..
Me: ao metkarewta
Cherry: Rabbena yostor.

3ala sa3eeden a7'ar..


M@hdeto (to his brother): Haat yabny el gezeera maglesh el shoora is on fire
Brother(flipping to al gezeera el ryadaya): ahoh, el match sha3'aal.
M@hdetoh: Yabny haat egezeera, maglesh el shoora!!
Brother: Yaksh yewla3!..estana, dah walla3 fe3lan!

Realization

I am not the center of the universe.

3'areeba.

Zoroony

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes/music player on Shuffle,
2. For each question, press the next button to get you answer,
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!

NOTE: Alabt my laptop for all the scattered songs that i have. They are 6 songs bel tamam wel kamal. Wa7da menhom is not even a song. El mohem ya3ny, i had fun commenting, eshme3na ana ya3ny.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
EL leqa2 el thany-- 3omar 7'ayrat
( asdo ya3ny forsa tanya isA)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
saba7 w masa--Fairouz
( meaning i am always online?)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Ahoh dah elly saar--Fairouz


4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Zoroony--Fairouz
(i feel alone, bass mesh lonely.)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
These are a few of my favorite things

6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ma 3andy Alb-- Ayman el A3tar
(LOOOL.. I think I know people who would agree to that.)

7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Saba7 w Masa--Fairouz

(aywa sa7, homma sob7 w leel yeza3a2ooly)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Zoroony--Fairouz
(i listen to the song too much)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
El leqa2 el thany-- 3omar 7'ayrat
(yeah, i agree..the first impression was not a blast.)

10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ma 3andy alb-- Ayman el A3tar
(Ma7na olna ba2a ma 3andy alb a 'like' be a person in the first place)

11.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
aho dah elly sar--Fairouz

(elly 7asal 7asal ba2a)

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Zoroony--Fairouz
(I don't see the person I like, maybzorneesh keteer, maybe because they are non-existent)

13.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
These are a few of my favorite things
:)

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Saba7 w masa--Fairouz
(i hope not!)

15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
El leqa2 el thany-- 3omar 7'ayrat
(I don't believe in reincarnation.)

16.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Aho dah elly sar--Fairouz

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Ma 3andy Alb
(I think this is not a secret anymore)

18.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Saba7 w masa--Fairouz
(To Dee: reminds me of nazaryet el tashabo3)

19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Zoroony--Fairouz
( aywa keda)

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?
EL leqa2 el thany-- 3omar 7'ayrat
(i think that should have been "Ma 3andy Alb", stupid shuffle)


No one to be tagged, I am like the last one on the blogosphere to do the tag..

koll tag wento bel se77a wel saalama

A suggested list for the fellow Egyptians

I think Egyptians should start doing the following:

1- Acknowledging bikes as reliable means for transportation. Also carpooling would not be bad.

2- Listening to the weather news, specially at turbulent times like fall, winter and spring :)

3- Reading other stuff than the newspaper.

4- Reading other sections in the newspaper other than sports.

5- Taking daily shower, specially if using public transportation

6- Giving a damn.

7- Gardening.


I think also they should stop doing the following now we are at it:

1- Littering

2- Smoking

3- Watching Noor

4- Complaining

A Reference for Status Messages on Facebook

Borrowed from 7akifadi

I am: content yet angry at myself.
I think: too much sometimes.
I know: I can do better than that.
I have: to stop worrying.
I wish: I could go live in the suburbs, go to work on a bike, live in a friendly neighborhood..keda ya3ny :). I also wish I lived in some other (earlier) time.
I hate: my conscious apathy, my laziness and my time management habits.
I miss: Babaya and Grandpa.
I fear: both the future and death.
I hear: A distant shee7' from Eza3et el Quraan El Kareem
I smell: the smell of mango :)
I crave: for Carvel Ice-cream (mennek lelalh ya Dee)
I search: using Google of course!
I wonder: if I will ever change, to better or to worse. I have been feeling that I am ma7allak serr for a long time now.
I regret: some minor stuff.
I love: my family, and the fact that I am a Muslim. El7amdolellah!
I ache: from my brain cells.
I am not: stupid.
I believe: I can flyyyy!!
I sing: terribly.
I cry: on daily basis.
I fight: a losing battle.
I win: people easily.
I lose: my stuff too often.
I never: search for love.
I always: pray for good stuff to happen.
I confuse: reality with cartoons sometimes.
I listen: to Sayed a lot. But ignore his advices too soon.
I can usually be found: Online.
I am scared: of losing someone I love.
I need: Babaya.
I am happy about: moving out!
I imagine: heaven.

I enjoyed writing this post. It is not a tag, but I encourage you to write one.(An implicit tag.)

Too late

I opened firefox in frustration in order to rant in the blog about some stuff that are bothering me. By the time I opened the New Post page, I cooled off and I am actually content. Are my mood swings too fast? Is Firefox too slow to keep up?

P.S: I am enjoying that everybody is fel sa7el. Seriously, the country is amazingly quiet, the traffic is perfect, and I am having good practice on my driving el7amdolellah. Actually el balad fadya le daraget enny 7assa enn mesh heya deh Cairo elly ana 3arfaha, and I sometimes feel as if I AM fe masyaf.

Mutual Friend: Deee

I'll have a conversation similar to the one below with anyone I know through Dee:

New Friend: Enty ba2a gjoe :) i never knew your real name
Me: gihan.. :)
New Friend: tashafrana ya sett gihan..
New Friend: bass 3'areeb awy gjoe dah, gihan is a gigi
Me: aywa, bass ana bakrah gigi dah, w kaman i have too many nicknames instead..my family members call me oojy..
New Friend: hehe/lol/haha :D
Me: Dee is the one who came up with the "g-joe" spelling, zaman kan geegoo
New Friend: Dee deh gameela awy/gamda awy/shtra geddan/me3adaya
Me: Yeah! I know :)
New Friend: 3ala fekra heya bet7ebbek awy.. dayman toshkorly feeky, she thinks very highly of you and she thinks that you are hilarious!
Me: :$ I love her too, She is such an amazing friend, w law ana hilarious ommal heya eh!!

A couple of chatting later..

New Friend: enty sa7ee7 3ala el facebook?
Me: Yeah.. Hatla2eeny 3and Dee..
New Friend (After adding me and seeing a couple of pics): yeaaah! enty w dina ezzay shakloh zay ba3d, mesh shaklan..bass 7assah enek you look like a friend-of-Dee kinda person.
Me: yeah, we had this friends beybhatoh 3ala ba3d convo before :)

People who

There is a couple of stuff that total strangers do that totally get on my nerves for sometimes no justifiable reason. Here is a few:

1- People who are lazy to walk up/down the escalators. I don't know why people like to stand in the escalators instead of moving. I mean it is made to make things faster, not people lazier. w ba3deen if you are too lazy to move, please take a side so that others can pass.

2- Close-talkers:Buzz off will ya?.. begad i NEED my personal space.

3- Za7ma-creators: This includes roughly 80% + of Egyptians. But in general it includes taxi drivers who slow down in "the middle of the road" to pick up people,; People who go 3aks el etgah be dahrhom 3ashan they missed an exit, and even the annoying fact that we simply and genetically can not form a decent line to wait for our turn.

4- People who drag their feet while walking and make a "shhhhht-shhhht" sound with their sandals/shebsheb/shoes.

5-Pedestrians that walk in a narrow street with total disregard of the cars. They can actually see/hear a car coming from behind or infront of them and don't care to stop or move aside la7ad lamma el 3arabya te3addy.Tana7a keda w la mobalaah.

6- W aktar 7aga betnarfezny (w tewadeeny keda w tegbny) people who play songs on thier mobiles w homma mashyeen. Most of the time these are teenage girls w beyb2a ma3ahom mobile nokia w 3'aleban beysh3'alloh tamer 7osny or shereen. No one asked you to entertain the streets thank you very much. Kindly try headphones, and definitely you DON'T ever ever sing a long fel sahre3.

I am starting to believe that I am living in the wrong country.

An Oh Yeah Post!

I never saw that comming, bass Thanks To Inso, I am now fixated on Fairouz/Sayed Darwish

All day long, it is either Zoroony or Aho dah elly saar!!


Many thanks to you insomniac!!



Listening to (Duh!): زوروني كل سنة مرة

أخيرا

أخيراً كل مشاكلنا اختفت!

أخيراً كل الأسعار إتثبتت

و كل المدارس والجامعات إتزبطت

و كل السجون إتشمعت

و كل البلاد إتحررت

و كل الاحلام إلي كان نفسي فيها إتحققت

أي حد ياكل, يجوز أو يشتغل..

خلاص كل الأمور إتيسرت!

رجعتلنا الكرامة والقوة والمكانة
صحي الضمير ملنوم
و رجعت والأمانة


مفضلناش غير مشكلة
إن فلان ساب علانة

--

gjoe.

Sick n' Tired

I don't need to apologize.

7aga te2ref.

Tonight you are all going to be part of a *social experiment*.

The "social experiment" that Joker played in the Dark Knight movie reminded me of some game I played about 4 months ago.

My favorite proffesor finished giving his pre-masters lecture material earlier than usual. Then he started by sayin:"Now I have some bonus marks to give any of you. The only condition for taking the bonus is that you agree that others take bonus as well. Otherwise, you will not get it." Sure enough the whole class roared "We all want the bonus. Give it to us". He smiled wickedly. He continued "Now here is the thing. I will divide you into 2 groups. Group A and Group B.Everyone from Group A will take a paper out, write a number from 1 to 10 along with his/her name. This number is the amount of bonus that you want.Now after that I will collect all the papers from group A, then randomly i'll give it to people from group B.Each one from group B will open the paper and see the number. The amount of bonus that he or she gets is the remaining quantity from subtracting 10 from the bonus jotted on the paper. This means that if someone from group A wrote 6, then the member from Group B who will get this paper would get a 4 marks bonus. That is of course if he agreed.But, If he thought that it was not fair and did not agree, then neither him nor the person from group A whose name is written on the paper will get any bonus. " People started laughing. I told him"Then every one will write down a 5. It is fair to both sides." He told me "Oh, you really think so? Someone who would get a paper with an 8 might think a 2 bonus marks is better than nothing.". Someone asked "Are these bonus marks for real?". The doctor answered "Why wouldn't they be?". Silence prevailed the class. People were looking suspiciously to one another as the doctor was dividing us into groups.

I was on group A. I got greedy to tell you the truth. And I knew for a fact that almost anyone from Group B would peacfully agree with whatever they get. They will not compare my bonus to thiers. They would compare thier bonus to a zero bonus. So I wrote an 8.5 on the paper, folded it and gave it to the doctor. Then he distributed the papers among people from Group B. He started collecting the numbers written on the papers and writing them on board. Most of the people wrote a 5, or a 6. There was one 9, two 8.5s, four 8s three 7s and one 2!!

He started getting answers from people of whether or not they would agree to the bonus they and the other person from Group A would get. There were a few jokes and laughs, but there were only 2 people who did not agree to what they would get.The one who got the paper with the 9 and another with an 8.

The doctor started asking questions. He told me for example why did you write an 8.5? Why werent you fair to the other guy as you suggested? I told him, I was willing to take the risk of the other guy agreeing with what they got. After all, a 1.5 is better than a zero. He asked the people from group B who agreed on the 3s and the 2s they got how did they make thier choice when it was seemingly not just to them. They jokingly answered "Howa e7na hantbbatar 3ala el bonus kaman.7add la2y!". He asked those who didn't agree and they normally answered "3allaya w 3ala a3da2y.It was not his right to make the decision in the first place, and I don't care about the bonus as much as i care about being fair."

The doctor then began by saying "I don't understand how people give themselves the right of taking more than they should, and other people who have the right to punish them, let them get away with it!" Ouch. That didn't feel good at all. I kinda knew where he was going from there. And I knew right away that I made an awfully wrong choice and what's worse was the justification I gave for myself and what's even worse was that I was predicted right. I got away with it.I got away with being greedy and not being fair.

He then explained "This is a social exercise by which they test and measure certain cultural paradigms. Instead of bonus marks it is played with money.The more rejections for the un-fair distribution of money, implies a more democratic a society ,and implies that people in that country exercise more freedom and own the right to punish and prosecute the greedy. They have the choice the right of disagreeing. Even if that came with a cost. Even if that meant a loss for them too. This is because preserving justice system more important than who will get what now. Naturally, countries like ours,Rejections tend to be low. Only 2 out of 10 rejected unfairness of what they would get. Also having 10 out of about 30 thinking they can get what they want depending on the others consent indicates major problems in our societies. I think that those who agree with the unfairness happening to them are more guilty that those who practice it. Or at least they are both equally guilty."

Needless to say, People started debating but mostly people were shocked at the implications of the game and everyone was reflective on thier decisions.


It was definitely enlightening.

If you want to know

إذا أردت أن تعرف قدرك عند الله، فانظر فيما يستخدمك وبأيِّ الأعمال يشغلك

The Bike

I remember the first time I was able to ride a bike (men 3'eer sannadat). It was in nady el Seed and I was 10 years old. My cousin was like 6. He spent a whole summer teasing me that although he was younger, he could ride the bike and I couldn't because I am a girl. I remember quite well that I had many trials, bumps and many falls. But I had enough of the teasing essara7a. He was generous enough to help me learn (imagine!). The trick my cousin claimed was in the speed. "law mesheety bel 3agala besor3a awy, mesh hatl7a2y to2a3y". So he lend me his bike and watched me fall off one time after the other after the other after the other. It was a pretty long exhausting day, my cousin had a lot of laughs and he insisted to show off a couple of times just to show me how to ride the bike.

Until it was the end of the day, like about 12 beleel. I remember because all the grown ups were tired and they wanted to go home. "7'amas da2aye2 bass ya baba.", I said. And I was granted my wish. They weren't really watching, they saw me fall off many times already. They just waited by the side of the walking track the five extra minutes. So I did the same thing I have been doing ba2aly 6 hours: Sitting on the bike, running with my legs so that the bike could gain some speed and then I would peddle from there when it was fast enough not fall. That was my plan. Suddenly it worked. I peddled and peddled, I was going pretty fast. I remember hearing my cousin from behind running"yalla besor3a..yalla kaman". I was ecstatic. A sense of achievement and happiness that was not disrupted by fear or pain. Finally it paid off. Finally I could sense the evening refreshing breeze on my face. I wasn't laughing, but I was smiling while concentrating on the road but mostly concentrating on recording the memory. All I have to do is keep peddling. Until I was hit by the sudden of thought of not knowing how to stop. How am I going to stop the bike? If I stopped peddling I will definitly lose the accelration but eventually I will fall off. Fair enough. So I lifted my feet from the peddle, closed my eyes and decided not to fall off gracefuly. As if to add drama for the day.

The moment I fell off the bike, I started laughing hysterically. My cousin came up and said "mawa2fteesh leh el 3agala berra7a?". I replied that I did that intentionally. "Shofteny kont bagry bel 3agala besor3a ezzay??". Cousin smiled while checking his bike and said "ah shoftek, ana kont waraky 3ala tool." I was proud of myself. Our parents are like so far away now. I can see them watching. But I could not see if they were smiling. I looked at the distance of the road back and bragged again"yaaah..dana mesheet bel 3agala keteer awy"And now I have to walk the distance back because I wasn't sure if I was able to ride the bike again, and my cousin already dediced that it would be his way of transportation back. But walking wasn't fast enough. I ran. I ran after him. With a proud smile on my face.

P.S: After that incident I spent sometime learning how to go left and right with the bike. It was about 3 weeks and I was able to go a whole circle around myself without falling off.

The 5 Things

The 5 things I want to change about myself:

1- My complaining rate
2- My continuous fear from the future
3- My laziness
4- My inconsistent/self-contradicting attitude
5- My time wasting habits


The 5 things people tell me to change:
1- My aggressiveness
2- My short-termed memory loss.
3- My attention span
4- My selfishness
5- My inconsistent/self-contradicting attitude



The 5 things I want to keep:

1- My determination
2- My sense of humor.
3- My healthy diet habits
4- My big dreams
5- My faith/religious beliefs


The 5 things people say I must keep:

1- My determination
2- My creativity
3- My smile.
4- My ability to support/help someone to regain hope in themselves
5- N/A

واحة الحيرانين

I have been humming the lyrics for quite some time now. When I was a small kid, I never understood a word of it. Now it feels like discovering something new that also triggers nostalgia!

منين بيجي الشجن
من اختلاف الزمن
ومنين بيجي الهوى
من اختلاف الهوى
ومنين بيجي السواد
من الطمع والعناد
ومنين بيجي الرضا
من الايمان بالقضا

من انكسار الروح في دوح الوطن
يجي احتضار الشوق في سجن البدن
من اختمار الحلم يجي النهار
يعود غريب الدار لـ أهل وسكن

ليه يا زمان ما سبتناش أبرياء
وواخدنا ليه في طريق ما منوش رجوع
أقسى همومنا يفجر السخرية
وأصفى ضحكة تتوه في بحر الدموع

منين بيجي الشجن من
اختلاف الزمن
ومنين بيجي الهوى من
اختلاف الهوى
ومنين بيجي السواد من
الطمع والعناد
ومنين بيجي الرضا من
الايمان بالقضا

ولفين ياخدنا الأنين
لليالي ما الهاش عينين
ولفين ياخدنا الحنين
لواحةالحيرانين

ما تسرسبيش يا سنيننا من بين ايدينا
ولا تنتهيش ده احنا يا دوبابتدينا
واللى له أول بكرة حيبان له آخر
وبكرة تفرج مهما ضاقت علينا

ولفين ياخدنا الأنين
لليالي ما الهاش عينين
ولفين ياخدناالحنين
لواحة الحيرانين

Mood: Cynical

أنا مش بفهم ليه ساعات حد يبدأ التدوينة ب "وحشتووني جداجدا و اسف على التأخير و يا رب متكونوش قلقتوا عليا عشان أنا معلش كنت مشغول/ مسافر / بلعب كورة لوش الفجر/ متخانق مع جيراني على توصيلة النت". أولا لا أحد يكترث(نو بودي كيرز) عن انشغلاتك الا اذا كنت فعلا لعيب كورة في الاهلي أو الزمالك. ثانيا احنا وحشناك ازاي و انت متعرفش حد فينا يا بلوجر يا مفتري/مفترية ولا هو كلام ناس حافظة و مش فاهمة ثالثا بقى اكيد عمر ما حد حيقلق عليك عشان اصلا كل واحد فيه اللي مكفيه و اكيد محدش فاتح النت و قاعد مستني قدام البروسر ان حضرتك تتعطف علينا ببوست صغير تطمنا فيه عليك و عن أحوالك


اللي يقعد على النت ياما يشوف

Roots and Homes

Inspired by Roba's Post with the Same Title
Where My father was Born:














Egypt,Giza

Where My mother was Born:













Sudan, Khartoum


Where They met:















KSA, Madina


Where I was born:














Egypt, Giza


Where I lived my first years of Childhood:


















KSA, Jeddah

Where I lived my teen life:














KSA, Riyadh

Where I went to college:














Egypt, Cairo University

Which other countries I've been to:














UAE, Dubai




















Bahrain

Where I want to spend the rest of my life:

NO IDEA!!

Ignore it.

Sometimes, the only way to deal with pain or fear is to ignore it.Not accept it, not embrace it, not try understand it, but completely ignore it as if it is not there.

Quick Movie Review

I never thought that the day would come in which I would tear up in an Ahmed Helmy movie. I loved it! If you ever go, don't judge the movie till its end. Even at the break you would feel that the movie hasn't started yet. At first,You get a few laughs, the usual ahmed-helmy feel, but you really wish from your heart that they start the damn movie. I remember whispering to my sister "Ana mesh 3arfa howa esm el film aasef 3ala el ez3ag leh, dah mafeesh ez3ag 7'ales fel film le daraget ennoh lessa mabada2sh!".

Bass it all starts when you go get your coke refill in the break and sit down for the second half..An an an aaaan!

Waiting for The Dark Knight :)

Speaking of traffic

Starting Friday 1/8/2008, Egyptian traffic nightmares will be history!Apparently, Egyptian geniuses had this one thought out really well. The best way to overcome bad traffic is to perform a make-over to the old one..and here you go! Stricter rules, higher penalties, and overrated punishments seemed to be the best things they came up with. For example, no parking second line is allowed and those who do so, will be extremely punished. Well, It is rather annoying that people park their cars and pack up streets like that, but I seriously don't think they have any choice. Another example is having first aid boxes that must be available in cars all time. Yes that's right, that will solve the problem. I don't underestimate the importance of first-aid in emergency cases, but what I am saying is that we are not in a culture that was raised to know the basic rules of first aid. I know I don't. Maybe I should, but still that won't solve the problem.
Then once again el7ezam! That is given the assumption that cars move any faster than 30 Km/hr.

On a deeper level, giving helpless traffic regulators officers the power to threaten the people with tickets that are worth thousands of egyptian pounds, is a very disturbing thought. I believe it encourages bribery and blackmail. We all know exactly how the new law is going to be practiced. We will rather hear a lot more "koll sana wenta tayeb ya beeh".

And one more thing!

I forgot to mention that Dee knows Spinneys by heart (walla was it like her first name?). El mohem she strolls around the aisles like it is home and she actually knows where each and every section is. She knows which fridges work best and have the coldest water, and which are safe to keep in her Fairoz sodas so that she could come back later to get them when they are cold. Dee actually referred to Spinneys as "El Dar Amaan". She might not know all the staff though. But I think she deliberately does not want to either! Whenever you are in Spinneys, there is a 72% chance that you would bump into Dee.. (At least I did).

I remember that day I bumped into her fe Spinneys! We had a job fair held by faculties of computers and information from all Egypt, many graduates came from all over to drop in their CVs and have stand-up interviews. It was held in the intercontinental City Stars. We were all excited about it w beta3. I then went with a friend to check for laptops (3ashan 7'alas ba2a keberna w bet3ona enharo men el misuse), when I bumped into Dee in her Jeans w kanet lessa me7'allasa "The Simpsons" w ra7et tegeeb Fairoz bardo. Ironically, Dee was the first to get a job (that she hated later) in our dof3a!

Ayyam!

On the first day of Christmas,

Warning: This is a blog post that might make you think: huh?!

These are some stuff I learned a couple of days ago:
- Good Traffic is not always a good thing.
- Sometimes you need to live "around the edge".
- I need air-headed friends. 7aga keda style "Clueless" or I-wish-I-had-brains kinda people.
- How it feels to sing "12 Days of Christmas" at the top of your longs, while the heat of July is slapping your face because your friend is enjoying 6th October bridge el fady.
- Wondering what it would feel if we make faces at people at the other side of the 6th October Bridge just to make them feel worse that they are stuck at traffic and we are not.
- There is a one letter difference between Died and Diet.
- One good thing about you being dead, you don't need to do a diet, the weight will drop off any way.
- There is a subtle relationship between Micheal Jackson and a famous Egyptian Celebrity.
- The best selling song of all times according to Nile FM is: "A little less conversation". It is about 12 tam long. (tam= Turns Around elMedan)
- Jean-Pierre hates 7'aled Mattar. There are also many hate groups on facebook.
-7'aled mattar has a very unique fake British accent. You cAnt miss.
- If I ever applied to American Idol, I would probably be one of those who would crack you up laughing while wondering why do some people love to make a joke out of themselves on international TV. I will lose all the way.No matter what I sing, even if it is as slow as "I cant get no- sat -is -fact -ion". And I will lose, no matter what I wear, whether it is a cowboy-ish outfit or like a ballerina. and I will lose when I try to match the two styles together.
- There is exactly 45 steps between Spinneys and Compume. Going back and forth between them both is not very interesting, unlesss you like to annoy people who work there.
Me(asking a CompuMe staff): Law sama7ty, 3andoko gift certificates?
Lady:No.
Me: Then why are you following us?
- I have too many purposes for living. They all fit perfectly. And it is starting to get on my nerves. Complaining is not one of them though.
- Sometimes getting a gift for a newly wed friend who is very flexible and would be glad if you got her something as cheerful as cookies AND having 2 very practical,cut-the-crap shoppers to help you out is not as easy as it sounds.

Yet Another Post About Me.

It was about 2 weeks ago. We were sitting in college, me and her, waiting for the pre-masters project evaluation to be decided. She is colleague. She was a close witness of my pre-masters drama and she suddenly started the following dialog:

Her: 3ala fekra enty a3'rab sha7'sya shofataha fe 7ayaty, w 7assa enny akeed mesh ha2abel wa7da zayek .
Me(was reading the kite runner, lift my head up in surprise):Na3am?
Her: Aywa, enty ensana 3'areeba geddan..ana 3omry mashoft keda..
Me(Smiling): What makes you say that?
Her: feeky 7agat keteer mesh rakba 3ala ba3d..ya3ny ana 3omry ma shoft wa7da friendly geddan w aggressive fe nafs el wa2t..Enty ezzay kda? Ezzay betb2y mabsoota awy marra wa7da w fag2a te2leby?
Her: hehe. Mesh 3arfa..bass 3ady ya..
Her: La2 mesh 3ady..enty sa3at bet3assbeeny geddan, w sa3at mesh betfre2 ma3aky enty bet2ooly el kalam dah lemeen..enty 3arfa el nass betsta7melek leh?
Me: leh?
Her: 3ashan bet7ebbek..aywa, enty law 7'serty 7add 3ashan el taree2a beta3etek lamma betet3assaby, hatbatly te3mely keda..bass 3ashan enty lamma betb2y mabsoota betb2y kwayesa awy, fal nass betesta7melek..
Me: Don't forget that it costs me alot of apologies. Mama dayman te2olly enty hate3tezry keteer fe 7ayatek..
Her: la2 w eh..lamma teb2y farfoosha w beta3..ya salaaaam..bet7'ally el wa7ed tayer men el far7a..ya3ny moodek beybhat 3ala elly 7awaleeky..
Me: fakkarteeny be baba, dayman lamma kan yet3assab ye2olly enty el sabab..
Her: la2 w mesh keda w bass..ana 3omry fe 7ayaty ma shoft 7add ye7ebb ye2agel el 7aga le a7'er el wa2t, w ye7ebb ennaha tetla3 100% perfect..
Me: deh lel asaf 7aga betet3ebny fe 7ayaty, bass it works!
Her: elly ana mest3'arbaloh, ennek bet7ebby te2aggly el 7aga..mesh betetzen2y maslan..la2 enty elly bet2aggely be mazagek..wel fel a7'er bet3rafy tetala3y el 7aga zay el foll..
Me: dah satr men Rabbena..
Her: la2 bass enty sha7'sytek 3'areeba..enty fe3lan be kaza sha7'sya, wel wa7ed lazem ye3mel 7esaboh 3ala keda..
Me: ew3y tekoony shayla menny wala 7aga..
Her: La2 7'alas..manty e3tazarty.
Me(Laughing): tab tamam keda..
Her: w e7keely ba2a ennek bet3'ayry ra2yek 17 marra fel sanya..ha3mel kaza, la2 mesh ha3mel, la2 ha3mel..erkazy keda ya mama..
Me: w ba3deeen ba2aaaa..a3mel eh fe nafsy tayeb.
Her: enty lazem tet3'yary..
Me:(giggling) 7adher..
Her: la2 begad, lazem te3'ary men nafsek..
Me:(impatiently) 7'alas..weslet..moken ba2a akkamel eraya 3ashan ashoof el ragel maat walla la2a?
Her: aho shofty alabty ezzay!
Me: la alabt wala 7aga..bass 7adher hab2a ashoof mawdoo3 a3'yar men nafsy dah..

For you a thousand times over

There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. Do you understand that?When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife’s right to a husband, rob his children of a father.When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth.When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. Do you see?

-- Baba Sahib in The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseny

The Secret? More Like The Crap

You know how this movie/book "The Secret" divided people into strictly strong believers of the concept behind it and others into believers of the fact this is just a load of crap? I belong to the second group of people. Allak laws of attraction aal.

Actually the basic idea is quite "impressive" if I must say. You could easily "fall for it": Think positively about what you want, surrender to the universe,(some crap about raising our consciousness level ), then POOF!, the "universe" will send you what you asked for.
Let it be a job, a car, a child, a wife, love or even a cup of coffee. The universe will send it to you.
What do we say in arabic? مكنش حد غلب
Then to patch all the holes in the story, and to defend their mechanism against people who say it doesn't work. They go on and tell you how you must not ask for something in "I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT" way, but rather in one cool strong "I WANT IT" and then stop worrying about it. tab3an tab3an. Then you should try to love yourself, and forgive others while your at it. If it doesn't work? Then you have to let it go..don't wait for it to happen..inhale..forgive..exhale..thats' right.See..just a couple of years and hard work, and the job you've always wanted will come crawling to your feet.

The only thing I agree with and it is definitely something many people had told us about and it is not exclusive to the book is: The power of positive thinking. That is not a secret. We all know that. We all know that positive thinking makes you more content about yourself. We all know that positive thinking will help you even see the good in whatever bad goes your way.

I know that "the secret" is exposed and it is already old by now. But I was lazily watching a re-run for Oprah yesterday and it got on my nerves seeing all these PhD attained women so full of themselves selling this crap to people. Every time I see Oprah I remember why I wasn't watching for a long time.

Grief in a Scarred Heart.

Right now my heart is aching. My deep feeling of pain and sorrow is beyond my capability of expressiveness. Life seems surreal and many things are suddenly out of proportion, while other stuff re-gained importance. Nothing has such an effect on our perspective of life like death.

There is no other way to put forth the bad news that some readers might already know except just saying it: My boss lost his 3 kids (ages ranging from 14 to 2) in a car accident last Thursday. They were heading for a weekend escape and Allah's will interfered with what they had planned. Miraculously, both my boss and his wife are in perfect shape. But of course not quite so. I can not comprehend or imagine what they must be feeling right now. Although I have been subconsciously trying to.

So the last three nights I was sleepless. I am never sleepless unless an earthquake hits. I kept on tossing and turning while my mind is slowly taking in the news. My mind was also searching for an explanation for what happened. Praying God to show those parents mercy and the wisdom behind His act.


Going to the funeral yesterday, was also a hard yet enlightening thing. I walked in a room full of tears, and saddness like it is in the air. But I have told myself that I will probably know the mother by being the one crying the most. And I was very wrong. I found her holding on more than I could ever imagine. Even capable of answering back what people have to say and thank them for coming. She like an angel. I found her not even "motamaska" but more of "mo2mena" be qadaa2 Allah. I heard my mom whispering in my ears "deh omm Rabbena estafaha begad. Deh akeed feeha 7aga mo7'talefa".



Although I already know a lot of people already praying for them,I ask readers to include those parents and their childern in your prayer. They need each and every one.

خناقة التكييف

We fight all the time me and my 2 sisters. They are almost all trivial fights that can grow ugly. We never had heart-breaking fights, no major conflicts,and we had never been on non-speaking terms for more than 1 day. But we constantly have repetitive fights. Their intensity is dependent on many factors that are all out of the scope of this post (ma3lesh ana ba2aly fatra bakteb research papers, fal kalam too-formal 3ala el mawdoo3, bass eedy hatfok kaman shwaya).

The fights are quite funny when seen from the eyes of the outsider. Full of surreality, over-reacting and alsh. I don't quite know how we resolve them every time. But I guess we didn't. That is why we keep having the same fights over and over again.

We have this fight that I consider to be "generic", or rather representitive for all other fights. And that is خناقة التكييف

Okay(Quoting dee, when starting a new illustrative topic). You know how some people tend to feel cold than usual and others feel hot than usual? Well that is the main problem. My youngest sister, niveen, feels that the heat is unbearable. I, on the other hand, am very tolerant to heat, unless it is of course suffocating. So, and you might find this strange, I prefer to be حرانة than بردانة.
Also to my argument, takeef el ooda sootoh 3aly awy awy awy.I always feel that someone would be calling and I won't hear them. And it is also not installed properly so it mildly vibrates the near by window, which gives the effect of an earthquake.
Cherry is neutral. But the implicit rule in sister's fight is: If you are neutral then your job is to get on one of the quarrelling members nerves. In other words, a fight-catalyst. (mesh 3arfa ana bakteb kalam kebeer awy keda leeh, 7assah enny hakteb "conclusion" fel a7'er.)
So everyday, we have the same dialog at some point of the day:

Niveen: gjoe, efta7y el takeef law sama7ty.
Me(Staring at laptop non-responsive):..
Niveen: gjoe..GJOE!
Me: Na3am ya vonna 3ayza eh?
Niveen: OLTELEK EFTA7Y EL TAKEEF.
Me(responding slowly):tab kaman 5 da2aye2.
Niveen: la2 efta7eeh delwa2ty..ana kont fat7aah wenty afalteeh.
Me: Aywa 3ashan kont bardana
Niveen: wana 7arrana 7'alas mesh adra..eh el araf dah..
Me(non-responsive, probably reading a blog):..
Niveen: GIHAN!(yes, calling me in my first name, which is very threatening) EFTA7y el TAKEEF LAW SAMA7TY..
Me: Betza3a2y leeh..otloby el 7aga be 2osloob 3edel..
Niveen: ya salaaam! mana talabataha be 2osloob 3edel w marradeesh 3allaya..
Me: la2 oltelek estany 5 da2aye2..mesh 3ayza a2adeeha 7'ena2.
Niveen: gihan ana 7arrana!
Me: tab estany shwaya ya vonna begad..ana bab2a a3da ta7t el takeef 3ala tool w battaleg fe sa3etaha..awel lamma 7arrana hafta7oh.
Niveen: NA3AM! ya3ny kaman sana isA..gihan efta7y el takeef..
Me(in a cold tone): tab ta3aly efta7eeh enty.
Niveen: la2a.
Me: 7'alas..elly 3ayez 7aga ye3mlha..wana mesh 3ayza afta7 el takeef..
Niveen: enty bet3'allsy leeh?
Me: wenty mekkasela leeh te2oomy tefta7y el takeef?
Niveen: 3ashan enty orayeba mennoh..
Me: manty orayeba bardo
Niveen: bss enty a2rab..
Me: mesh far2a, enty elly 3ayza tefta7eeh..
Niveen: ya gihan ba2a!
Me(no response):
Niveen: gihan
Me:..
Niveen: gihan..
Me:...
Niveen:GIHAN!
Me: 3ayza eh?
Niveen: 3addet el 7'amas da2aye2..

So I open el takeef.
2 minutes later I close it again.
Niveen: eeeeeeeh! afalteeh leeh!!
Me: vonna, begad sootoh 3aly awy w bey7asesny enn feeh zelzal..
Niveen: ana 3omry mashoft 7add bey7'af men soot el takeef..
Me: Niveen begad 3ayza arrakez..heya 10 da2aye2 w hasblek el ooda..
Niveen: la2, eft7aeeh delwa2ty.
Me: Mesh haynfa3 3ashan ana lessa aflaah

(Cherry walks in)
Niveen: cherry, o7'tek mesh 3ayza tefta7 el takeef.
Cherry the catalyst: efta7y el takeef ya gjoe.
Me: cherry, begad beytalegny w sootoh 3aly..wana oltelaha kaman 10 da2aye2.
Niveen(talking to cherry): 3arfa fata7etoh men de2eteen bezzabt w afaletoh tany 3ala tool..
Cherry: gjoe, efta7y el takeef ya3ny 7aram 3aleeky el bent.
Me: cherry oltelha kaman 10 da2aye2 w hamshy..w kaman heya a3da mesh bet3mel 7aga..moken te2ra harry potter fe ayy 7etta tanya
Niveen: la2 ana 3ayza a2ra hena ba2a..
Me: aaah! borg el toor eshta3'al ba2a..
Niveen: ana 7orra..
Me: tayeb, yeb2a osbory kaman 5 da2aye2..
Niveen: aah, 3ashan te2feleeh ba3deeha be 30 sanya

Tab3an this convorsation is endless..Someone ends up freezing or melting. Or it is more like, someone walks out steaming from the room.Only to come back after a while and the fight re-begins.

And no, I am not afraid from soot el takeef. It is just annoying. Too annoying for me that makes me prefer the heat of June.

As a conclusion, we can all see that sisterly fights are an inevitable daily drama that you just have to live with. But they are above all silly, mostly with no right-and-wrong debates and fun to blog about.

Saved By the Deee

So yesterday Dee literally saved my life. We were hanging out in Retro w a3deen fe amaan Allah..When suddenly Dee stretched her hand above my head and got out a tarzan-ish "AAaaaaAAA!" and stopped the newspapers stand from falling right on my head! It took me quite a while to understand what is happening. I mean fag2a el denya dallemet. I was paralyzed for a split of a second. Not in shock. But rather in "Heya deee bet3emel keda leh? ". Then when everything was clear and in the usual motion velocity, I stood up with a confused smile and helped to put the stand where it was!

El gameel fel mawdoo3, that I was just telling Dee 15 minutes before, that I was "concerned about the future"..I think I had a feeling that something was going to happen :D

We then jokingly suggested that we switch places, but then we were both afraid I will not respond as fast as Dee, if the stand fell again :D

Dee is a girl's best friend!

How a Geek would teach his kid the alphabets

A for Array

B for Blog

C for Cast

D for Debug

E for Ebay

F for Facebook

G for Gmail

H for Hashing

I for Interface

J for Java

K for Kit

L for Limewire

M for Method

N for Nintendo

O for Override

P for Polymorphism

Q for Query

R for Routing

S for Swing

T Torrent

U for Ubunto

V VoIP

W for Wikipedia

X for XML (or XKCD)

Y for Yield

Z for Zip

What if..

You know the hadeeth:

من حسن اسلام المرء تركه ما لا يعنيه
حديث حسن رواه الترمذي

Well, my father claims that it is ranked as one of the most important hadeeths recorded for our prophet (Peace Be Upon Him). Well, I was thinking today what if people took the hadeeth seriously. And when I say "people" I mean EVERYONE. What if people stopped nosing into other people's business? What if people did not waste all of thier effort on stuff that didn't matter to them? But for one thing, I admit I consider myself "curious" to some extent about what happens in other people's life. But I also think that almost everyone I know has problems with curiosity to one extent or another.

Back to my question, the first thing that came into my mind is the amount of people who "earn their living" from intruding others privacy. I mean if people decided to take this hadeeth into effect, there would be no papparazi,many magazines would have nothing to write about, no news feed on facebook, no gossips, no shows like the view and Tyra, and possibly half of the shows on Oprah, many personal blogging posts would not be interesting any more because it is other people's businsess that no one should care about. I am not sure if people would actually blog.

Then suddenly my thoughts concentrated on "facebook", and how contaminating it is if viewed from the hadeeth point of view.I mean 99.99% of any facebooker time is checking other people's news. Whether it is photos, groups joined, status updates, who-wrote-on-who's wall, who-commented-on-who's photo, who became a fan of ninja turtles. I mean the social network idea is so powerful, i gradually started to believe that it is so misued Everybody knows in their heart that facebook is a waste of time. "But it's "fun" to see what people chose to share about their lives. People share only what they want to share",they think to themselves.

Still again my thoughts went back to the hadeeth..and the term "من حسن اسلام" specifically. The phrase I believe is "iniviting" if you must say for a Muslim to embrace such an attribute. It is like when someone tells you something is "preferable" in contrast to it being "obligatory".
Maybe I will try to be less curious about other people's business. At least it would make me more focused on the important stuff in my life, like you know, checking my mail.

P.S: I am not considering re-de-activating my facebook account, at least not after I get my "happy birthday" on the wall :P. But it is an idea worth pondering.

دعاء

رب اشرح لي صدري ويسر لي أمري و احلل عقدة من لساني يفقهه قولي

اللهم لك أسلمت و بك امنت و عليك توكلت و بك خاصمت و اليك حاكمت فاغفر لي ما قدمت و ما أخرت و ما أسررت و ما أعلنت
أنت المقدم و أنت المؤخر لا اله الا أنت عليك توكلت
وأنت رب العرش الكريم

Doing The Right Thing

Sometimes doing the right thing does not make one feel any better. But it has to be done after all.

Sbelling Mistakes

I have to admit that I have terrible spelling capablities. I will write this post as is. No corrections.I will not rely on firefox's spelling checking and you would see for yourself how bad my spelling can be. Not to menton the grammer mistakes I does sometimes.

I'll write a very random sequence of sentences including words that I ALWAYS misspell.

"I think I will have a permenent problem with spelling. I think it is asocciated with the fact that I type fast and have someone to clean up the mess I left behind.The spelling mistakes usually acsend in complixity and frequency as I go on. Generally speaking, my spelling mistakes have certain characterstics. It is always almost about missing a vowel or transposing 2 letters."

"I get bored very easy. and one of my fatal flaws is that I have no committiment towards anything I should do. I have no daily usefull habits. I could never take a certain medication for more than 2 days, I occasuoinly wear my retainer and it took me 4 years to be on the seriuos track to get my driver's lisence. I admit that it is a pychological-related probelm. I immediatly think to myself that "it's boring to continue like this for long."Or the consquences of not doing what I am supposed to do is not drastic so I just don't .Yeah I know, it is such a not very beuatiful habit (elmafrood a2ool ugly habit, bass i don't misspell ugly.) "


Other words I mispell w ma3reftesh a7ottaha fe gomal mofeeda:
heirearchy
asocciated
priveleges
illisiuion
diabtes
specfication
advice or advise? feeh wa7da noun wel tanya verb
methodolgy
whether/weather/wheather
thier

P.S.: I am seriuosly considering not to always proofread some of my posts for the fun of it. The Post is almost entirly underlined!

Envy

I admit. I am totally envious of the American people. Not because they have half a continent just for themselves, not because they have the greatest variety of junk food, not because they have all the big software houses, not because they are the home of great blockbuster movies, not because they actually have a witness protection program, not because they made us a lot of sitcoms that re-set our moods and great minds that re-defined our future, not because they have the top universities, not because they never say "za" instead of "the".No.None of that.

I envy the American people for simply having a presidential election in which almost no one could predict its outcome. (still, my theory of mas7'am-men-setty-kallef-ya-seedy holds.)

Weird

Don't you think its weird that many people think they are lonely when its too crowded? I mean what are all these people doing? Just making it more uncomfortable being alone?

Don't you think its weird that there are many people struggling with overweight and dieting when there is a global food crisis? (I am not judging, I am contemplating)

Don't you think its weird that although you have friends whom you see come online and offline everyday and you are listed as friends on facebook still the distance between you is almost incompressible?(What is this geeky word doing up here)

Don't you think its weird that people still watch real TV? As if all the drama, backstabbing, conflict and struggling we have in our real lives,is not enough. I thought people watch TV to see some fiction, to escape real life, not to replace it with watching others pretend to have lives.

Don't you think it's weird that Obama won the elections? I thought it would be Hillary at start. yalla, mas7'am men setty, kallef ya seedy :D

Don't you think it's weird that three posts before this one I said that I was going to write about spelling mistakes and still haven't?


I think it's weird.

I love this conversation

...because it's bitter sweet :)

From the Ocean's Eleven Movie (abl lamma yektaroh w yellemoh)

"

      Tess Ocean sits in a booth and sips at a glass of wine
     and checks her watch: Benedict is late or very close to
     being so...


     ... when a pair of hands slips over her shoulders and
     starts to caress her arms.

                                  TESS
                          (without looking at him)
                  You're thirty seconds late. I was
                  about to send out a search
                  party...
                         (recognizing the hands,
                           she turns, stunned)
                  Danny...

                                 DANNY
                          (standing over her,grinning)
                  Hello, Tess.

                                 TESS
                          (thrilled and petrified
                          and stunned to see
                          him, but outraged
                          mostly)
                  What are you doing here?

                                 DANNY
                   I'm out.

                                 TESS
                   You're out.

                                 DANNY
                   Of prison. You remember. The day
                  I went for cigarettes and never
                  came back. You must have noticed.

                                  TESS
                   I don't smoke.
                         (as he sits)
                  Don't sit --

                                 DANNY
                          (but he does)
                  They said I'd paid my debt to
                  society.

                                 TESS
                   Funny, I never got a check.

       Danny smiles.    Tess stares daggers.

                TESS                      DANNY
        You can't stay.                   It's good to see you.


                                 DANNY
                   You're not wearing your ring.

     A beat.

                                TESS
                   I sold it. And I don't have a
                  husband. Or didn't you get the
                  papers?

                                 DANNY
                   My last day inside.

                                 TESS
                   I told you I'd write.

     Danny reaches his hand (ringed) for hers (ringless), but
     she removes it from the table.

                                   TESS
                   Danny.   Go.   Now. Before...

                                   DANNY
                   Benedict?

     She freezes: Danny knows.       He smiles:   it's okay.   Then,
     to a passing waiter:

                                  DANNY
                          (his fingers two
                          inches apart)
                  Whiskey and --
                         (then one inch
                          apart)
                  -- whiskey.

                                   TESS
                   Danny...

                                 DANNY
                   You're doing a great job curating
                  the museum.

     She sighs, exasperated.

                                 DANNY
                   The Vermeer is quite good. Simple
                  but vibrant. Although his work
                  definitely fell off as he got
                  older.

                                 TESS
                   Remind you of anyone?

<-Boring part skipped->
                                 DANNY
                   You don't know how many times I
                  played this conversation out in my
                  head the last two years.

                                 TESS
                   Did it always go this poorly?

                                  DANNY
                   Yes.

                                 TESS
                   Sounds frustrating.

                                 DANNY
                   You were never easy.
                         (as she shrugs)
                  Okay. I'll make this quick. I came
                  here for you. I'm gonna get on with
                  my life, and I want you with me.

                                 TESS
                   You're a thief and a liar.

                                 DANNY
                   I only lied about being a thief.
                  But I don't do that anymore.

                                  TESS
                   Steal?

                                  DANNY
                   Lie.

                                 TESS
                   I'm with someone now who doesn't
                  have to make that kind of
                  distinction.



                                 DANNY
                   No, he's very clear on both.

                                  TESS
                   Nice.   Work on that for two years, too?

                                 DANNY
                   Year and a half.

     A light smile from Tess.

                                 TESS
                   Do you know what your problem is?

                                 DANNY
                   I only have one?

                                 TESS
                   You've met too many people like you.
                         (then)
                  I'm with Terry now.

                                 DANNY
                   Does he make you laugh?

                                 TESS
                   He doesn't make me cry.

Questions

In a pathetic attempt yesterday to cheer myself up, I went to ma3rad el nady to buy some stuff.I could not exactly remember what I bought and I wasn't looking for anything specific and I was rather searching-in my head- for answers to questions that somehow crept into my mind without invitation.

Suddenly I am feeling a terrible urge of wanting to talk to Geddo.I never talked about how empty and hollow my grandparents home became after Geddo passed away. I terribly need geddo, I need to talk to him, to listen to him assuring me that everything is going to be okay.

Alone. Why do I feel so alone when I am not? Why do I feel that no one cares when I am surrounded by good friends and a wonderful family?Why do I feel very bitter towards strangers? I have no idea why I felt so mean today towards just normal people walking the streets.I feel terribly lost although I know exactly where I am going. How do I feel exhausted and tired when I haven't yet started? I so want someone who I can speak my mind and heart out to without being judged, without being misunderstood, without someone telling me to stop crying because its useless. Anyone I'll talk to would either get worried because they care, or they would pretend to be listening because they could not care less w koll wa7ed feeh elly mekafeeh. Why do I feel that I want to be left alone and at the same time hate the fact that there is no one I can talk to without worrying about consequences even the most trivial ones?Why do I hate being vulnerable even infront of who I consider to be my comfort zone?

I also I have no idea why these questions are asked and they either have obvious answers or no answers at all. But I feel that this is deeper than just a bad mood. There is something out of balance. Something I might be avoiding confrontation with. Yeah, that's right. Feeh 7aga tanya medy2any and am not dealing with it. I just hope I think I know what it is.

Today also I intentionally lost my temper at work.I did not lose my temper. I just showed people that I will not cover up anyone's mistake and I definitely won't take blame for not backing up any coworker's incompetencies.I am not going to be blamed specially that I acted like a big girl and took full responsibility for it. I am willing to pay the price of someone's 2 consecutive mistakes, and I am beng blamed for not taking account for them in the first place. WHATEVER!
(What happened at work has nothing to do with how I feel right now)

Am very likely to delete this post lamma arga3 men el sho3'l. It is getting on my nerves

Tagged: 6 Quirks

Tagged by my the female thinking out loud, Sou

These are the rules:

1. Link the person(s) who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. State 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Quirks:

1- I continuously sleep on my laptop..w ba7ees enn el na7ya el yemeen arya7 men el na7ya el shemal.


2-My next post would be about spelling meskates.

3-I still bit my nails.Actually my nails look very boyish. One of my wishes is that before I die, I would have decent nails like any normal girl my age..

4-The last scary movie I saw (I think) was The Ring. I might have seen another one ba3deeh, bass I totally blocked it out.The reason I hate scary movies is that most of the time I would be the only one awake at home late at night.

5-The last time I had driving lessons I almost hit a kid, I accidentally hunked instead of stepping on the brakes.That was exactly 4 years ago.I'll re-start new driving lessons tomorrow isA :)

6- When engaged in a group conversation.I don't look to the talker, I'd rather watch people listening to the talker.If someone is saying something stupid, I'll most probably look at the other listeners to see how they took it. The subtle facial expressions they make are hilarious!

Tagging: Dee, M@hdeto, Insomniac , Cesario, Mermaid and Zero!

P.S: I felt like this tag was very similar to the 1o random things tag, I actually wrote a couple of points there then I removed them because I felt like I have wrote them somewhere..w ba3deen the things I wrote are not quirky enough, I think i am Quirkier than that, bass ana mesh merrakeza..

Surprise!!!!

Partners in Crime: Dee, Xero, Arima, Cognitive, Embee, Silent Observer and DaySleepeer


It's not extraordinary..but I hope it would give you faith that good things will happen to you isA :)

Random Thought

What if I am supposed to be doing something like totally different from what I am doing? What if I am supposed to be a doctor, writer, poet, rock climber, biologist or even a cooking show hostess?

What if I am like totally wasting my time on something really not my best area..How do I know that I have an undiscovered passion or talent in something ?(I tried singing, and it didn't work, so don't even go there)..

These were just speculations I had while studying a subject I am soooo not comfortable with..

Last One

Hopefully this would be the last post I ever write about Exams..isA Rabbena haystor w te3addy 3ala 7'eer...

El mafrood enn el maddah deh as3ab madda 7'ataha el sanady..ya3ny zay mat2ooloh keda mesk el 7'etam..bass isA Rabbena haystor w te3addy 3ala 7'eer..

It's 2 days till my final final..and it's also 2 days till June..My favorite Month of The Year :)

Although throughout June I would be working on my pre-masters project, but I don't mind at all..actually I am looking forward to it..Anything instead of studying!

So i'll just have to hang in there for 2 more days and all of this will be behind my back..isA Rabenna haysotor w t3addyd 3ala 7'eer..

A Grateful Post

El7amdolellah.This what I should be saying for a long time.El7amdolellah I had a good day today..After many days of disappointments and frustration, boredom and loneliness.

So today, started with an exam.Naturally my biological clock was mixed up because of caffiene, distorted sleeping hours and stupid dreams. Just before the exam started the doctor came and told us, "The exam has an official 3 hour.But I have designed a 1 hour exam.You can take all the time you want, but I am telling you it is a short and easy exam" . I was thinking "Great! My brain cells will keep functioning for 1 more hour anyway". The doctor was right.It was an easy to-the-point exam, yet it was a differentiator(Smart doctor, one of my best 3ammatan). Despite my stupid stupid stupid mistake in the exam, I did fine el7amdolellah..and was 2nd to hand in the paper.I was ecstatic to get it over with too quickly. Lately, I have been having this stupid habit of mine of studying really hard the night before the exam, by the time it starts I feel tired to solve it.


Then since a very long time bardo, I went out with old friends. At last I have seen Sina! She has really good disappearing powers. So going out with her along with other college freinds was really refreshing.In an instant, we dropped the attitude of being all-grown-ups with our 9-to-5 jobs and acted really silly, while everybody in the restaurant was watching!

So far so good..Then I went with Sina to see Iron Man. Now this is a really good movie. My sister claims that I loved it merely because I had frequent disappointments,but I beg to differ.It was in fact enjoyable and highly recommended by many :)

I spent most of the time in the movie shabtana fe kamm el Gadgets!Throughout the movie I kept telling sina "Ana 3ayza menndah ya 7ozombol".I mean if you intentionally lowered your IQ level to that of an ancient human being, you could actually think that this is a credible super hero. I'll be honest with you and myself:I like hi-tech movies. I was indeed impressed by this one. And then there is Gwyneth Paltrow. All she had to do is wear high heels, a formal dress, a pony tail and smile.

Then I came home to find my sisters in a surprisingly good mood given that they have an exam tomorrow (pray for them) and I also read a couple of posts that really made me feel content.

El7amdolellah for today. Cause you know what, this too shall pass, and I will enjoy it while it lasts.

Childhood dilemma, Solved!

I always had this question as a kid.

But not any more..I feel like I have missed loads of fun though..

بلدنا بتقدم بينا

So this year we ranked 69/140 countries in the GPI, or the Global Peace Index..I liked the criteria...but i really haven't read how they actually measure them..bass maslan we got( On a scale from 1-5, 1=most peaceful):

Level of distrust in other citizens, 3/5
Political Instability, 3.5/5
Relations with neighboring countries, 2
Likelihood of violent demonstration 3/5
Political Democracy Index, 3.9

...and many many more interesting criteria!

ah, 3ala fekra..i deliberately put the criteria that we were bad in, not for any specific reason other than to make the post more interesting..bass we ranked good in other stuff like ..like..organized crime (1) masalan and education percentage(93%).

MASR, MASR..TA7YA MASR!

5 Most Peaceful countries:
Iceland (go figure)
Denmark
Norway
New Zealand
Japan

5 Least Peaceful countries:
Israel
Afghanistan
Sudan
Somalia
Iraq

See the whole list here


P.S.:USA got the 97th rank..

Change is the only permanent thing.

She might not know this,but Juka's post on "This too shall pass" had a tremendous effect on my perspective in life.

Nothing stays the same. No one will stay for ever, no pain will last, no joy will reside. Everything changes. Whether its the good times, the bad times, the ugly times. It will all pass..and the only fact of life that remains unchanged is change itself.
This might be something we already know at the back of our heads because its intuitive. But let me explain how it changed my perspective in life.

Whenever something good happens to me I start appreciating it and valuing it more because I know it won't last forever. I also think that I should be grateful to Allah for this specific blessing as long as I am having it.Before I came to this realization of "everything changes", whenever something good happens, I used to come to the conclusion that "life is great, everything is perfect and from what it seems, it will be perfect for a long while".Yeah, that's what I used to think.
Now I think I am just in a "good phase" and I might as well thank my Lord as much as I can before things change.

Whenever something bad happens to me, I start consoling myself by saying it won't last forever. There will be happier times yet to come..I have to be patient until it goes away.And I might as well learn from the pain accompanying it. And as short as my life is, I already got the lesson that pain is almost only there for us to learn from it, and to make us stronger.


I became more content with the joys of life,and less depressed by the trauma it brings sometimes.

It is all the same with things around me. I don't jump into the conclusion that certain people are happy and doing well in life and others are sad and el denya mellatasha ma3ahom.I realize that what I see is just a snapshot in time and things are very likely to change for either, because it always does.

و تلك الايام ندوالها بين الناس

It's like sometimes a person enters a hospital and becomes deluded that everyone in life is sick and that life is full of pain,diseases and suffering.And another one might enter a restaurant and think that everybody seems to be happy, in love, together wel 7ayah bamby bamby..
That is absurd and a totally narrow perspective of things.I used to think that way, and I was under the illusion that some people are just happy and others are just sad. Life does not work that way. Everybody takes their turn.That's why life seems to be unfair.It is because you compare yourself or 2 people at different phases in life, thinking that things will stay like this for both forever.It's our judgment that is not fair comparing apples with oranges.

I think it is a good lesson in life not to be arrogantly happy by the good stuff happening to you and never be devastated by the bad stuff,because nothing is permanent.



Enough philosophy for one day. I will save it for the exam answer sheet paper.