Tuesday, December 25, 2007

How to master procrastination?


Procrastination can affect every part of your life. It adds spice and challenge.It turns everything into an ordeal..

It is also a great way to piss people around you off. It puzzles them, specifically when you end up doing fine. It is a trait that beholders should proudly..(i'll complete next time)

I have to confess. I AM a procrastinator. A proffessional one. I get things done. but only when its last minute before its too late. I get on my nerves many many times.I tried to stop myself from this self-destructive behaviour. But I always procrastinate in that too..

I think it is time to share my talents..maybe you share some of these..or maybe you would learn from others..
1- Have a to do list: Okay, procrastination doesnt mean that you dont know what you have to do..that is a great misconception. If you dont know what you have to do..how will you manage when to procastinate what? you always have to know whachya gotta do..Just dont do it (yet).

2- Don't carry a watch: Not just that, but always ask abruptly about the time. What time is it now? OMG am running late..Carrying a watch would automatically deprive you from the right that you dont know exactly how much time you have got left, which typically means..there is much time left.

3- Dramatize: This is fun. complaining about the amount of work you have to do, and how little time you have left is always a great game to play. People sympathize everytime. People start to help. Not only that, it gives you even more time to waste.Keywords to use: Crisis, Ma2saah, enyahar, ed3eely, mesh hal7a2, tremendous, too much, too little, and the like :)

4- Remember the things you WANT to do: when there are things that you NEED to do..This is a typical me: Sitting online wanting to finish a certain research...hmm let's check facebook first, then google reader, then some blogs ofcourse, emailing an old friend, browsing flicr,then suddenly am reading through wikipedia, not to finish down my researchm but to look up some scientific concept like the six degrees of seperation, or maybe reading through a script of a movie i used to like, then searching for this part on youtube, then googling the cast..then what did i want to do? aaah the research..okay..what was it about..hmmm data warehousing..that needs some brains..I need to get myself a cup of coffee first..I can go on forever..bottom line: I do the research next day.

5- Organize: This is a great time waster. You have to finish some bills..You open your drawers then you realize that they need some tidying up.You can't work like this..You have to clean up that mess.After probably one hour of tidying up the drawers, color coding and categorizing every paper (procrastinators are also perfectionists), you get really excited and start with your wardrobe.

6- Now is the time: this is the toughest thing in procrastination: Deciding the exact time when to stop it. when exactly do you start studying for the exam? the previous day? the previous afternoon? or the previous night? When do you actually go prepare the presentation you have to do? On the weekend? or in the car on your way to work? I can't answer this question..But the moment you think it is physically impossible to finish what you have got to do in the amount of time given, then start doing it ;).

7- What's the worst that could happen?: you have something you gotta do and you really dont feel like it.so what? If your life is not at stake, then it is not really important now.

8- Getting it done: okay, you have wasted all the amount of time there is that you can waste. You have 10 minutes left to do the work that should typically take an hour. The keyword here is "focus". Remember that you procrastinate for one thing..the challenge..so you have to keep reminding yourself that "i can do this" in the last minute(s). I mean how many bombs in movies were deactivated in literally the last seconds just because the so called hero was procrastinating all the time..I mean if he can do it..so can you...

9-Congrats:
you did it! you finished what you had to do..whether it was sloppy or not, you did it :).You have to congrat your self and treat yourself a nice movie/meal/outing

10- The little things: I almost forgot to tell you how much it is important to waste your time doing the little things first..a phone call, grabbing something to eat, checking your mail, reading the newspaper, deciding what to do first,replanning, picking a new look, writing a list of a movie you would like to watch, actually downloading the movie..they work like magic..

P.S: This was written the night before my certifiaction exam(3 weeks ago), and was kept as a draft because i kept procrastinating proof-reading it.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Tackling Soccer.

Deep Breath. I have really mixed feelings towards soccer. I like the game, but I think it's overrated. I consider myself to be ahlawya and at the same time I have minimal information about the players. But what dazzles me the most is how phenomenal it is. People get really fanatic about soccer. That's the part I don't get. It is a game after all. Games are supposed to be fun, and if your team is losing, you shouldn't really get THAT upset. Of course you might accuse me of being an ahlawaya and we haven't lost that much recently. But again the fact still holds itself. It's a damn game.

Here are some points I just want to spill out concerning soccer, they are unrelated and have almost nothing in common except that they are all about, well, soccer! Here it goes:

1- My father hates it when there is an Ahly Vs. 3afreet azra2 is playing. We live on a street where it turns into a celebration playground every time ElAhly wins (which of course is frequent). You have to hear him say " Ya Rab el Ahly ye7'sar" every time. When I ask him "mesh ento konto bet3meloh keda zaman?" He says "Aywa, and it was stupid..people should grow out of it".

2- Whenever I get the slightest chance of watching games in other leagues: English, Italian or whatever, I feel how pathetic we play. Watching Egyptian soccer players and comparing them to those guys gives you much more than hint why are we still "ma7allak serr".
They play with passion for goodness sake, they are professional and they are always after the ball until the last possible chance. They don't give up any ball. If it bounces back, they try again and again. They have no problem "yer2assoh el koora" on the verge of the playground. Minimal lost chances. They really put their best. They know what "team spirit" is all about. Maybe they hate each other we never know. They are professional enough to play "together".

When you watch an Egyptian match, you feel that the players are running "bel3afya".Ma7adesh taye2 nafsoh. Shadd w za2 w fouls lel sob7. Players are generally fighting not playing. Every one wants to run with the ball as long as possible wala ka2enno captain maged. And when anything goes wrong, there is always the coach to blame.

3- Why the exaggeration? whether a team lost or won. There is always an exaggeration in the display of emotions. I truly believe that people are very desperate that they just want to enjoy even the slightest victories. Even if it's a trivial football match. They want to feel any kind of triumph, achievement and power. Bass deh teb2a moseeba! I mean if the whole country(with all its classes, backgrounds and differences)has nothing to celebrate except a football match, something is definitely wrong. No, everything is wrong. Isn't there anything more important or precious in these people's lives that they can celebrate or grief together? Nothing to unite the people except "mont7'abna el watany"? Okay, it's a nice notion that sports in general unite people and all that, But still. It shouldnt be the ONE & ONLY thing that get people EXTREMELY happy or EXTREMELY sad.

4- There is something I don't get at all. Maybe its a "guy thing" but I just can't get it. The TV shows talking about a soccer game or player or whatever. They talk about the most trivial things in the the most serious tones and attitudes. Why do people care whether this guy or another didn't like the defense tactics of the team? I watched the match. I can tell for myself. Who cares what does he expect to happen in the 2nd half? Why is it important? Why there is a huge base of audience of these shows I really can't understand! Allak el koora ma3 dream.

5- w a7ebb fel a7'er a2ool alf alf alf mabrook le Kaka w Messi w Ronaldo 3ala el laqab el sanady, w dayman keda ya Rab raf3een rass el 3alam el talet. 3o2bal keda 7add men 3andena.. 7'ally el nass tefra7!


Saturday, December 22, 2007

راح العيد أهو راح العيد

Call me a kid, but Eid for me is a "festive" event. I have to go buy something new(inshallah 7atta gazma), I have to go to a new place or a long-not-visited place,I have to be in a good mood and hang out with people that i like. Mel a7'er, I have to celebrate and have fun.

This Eid was very strange. It wasn't strange, it was depressing. The happiest day was yoom el wa2fa and then everything was awkward. It was very routine like,I was very much disappointed in many major and minor occasions. I was disillusioned ( a topic needing a post on its own) , and it was what you can call "pathetic".

And even the brief moments in which I was happy and content,SOMETHING/ONE has to come up and just spoil it for me! A lousy waiter, unwanted guests, too many fake smiles, phony conversations, de-motivation, a canceled outing,the weirdest feeling of wanting to die ,a fight,a sugarless cup of mint, waking up at 6 am with a headache, mayya ma2too3a w 3andena el unwanted guests, a teenage sister..etc.

I just felt like I was trying too hard to be happy with minimal success. I did have happy moments. I mean I did buy something new and went to a long-not-visited-place (I wasnt going out that much before anyway) , but then Dammit!

Then there is the guilty feeling which makes everything worse. I felt guilty for not being grateful for even the brief moments I felt happiness or joy. Which is simply put: I feel down for not being happy and I feel guilty for being down for not being happy. Perfect mood fel Eid essara7a!

At the back of my mind, anytime I feel down, depressed or simply not in the mood, the inner voice suddenly is heard " ya sheee7'a e7mdy Rabbena, feeh 3'erek mesh la2y yaakol aslan".
This inner voice (I'll call him Sayed), just comes ANY TIME I feel blue. mabalko ba2a fel 3eed.
Whenever I feel that there is no real justification for being blue and that I am just exaggerating, I feel even more upset and angry at myself.I just Hate Sayed! Can you feel the negative vibe of this post?

So overall, I pretended to be happy most of the time. Now I am about 1 week away from my premasters finals and I didnt feel like I got the break that I wanted. No, the break that I "needed". I feel the utmost feeling of carelessness.



P.S: I just discovered that " el mogamlat el egtma3ya" is one of the most tiresome exercises ever( At least they are for me, as far as I am concerned). I can't take them and I can't pretend that to be smiling for more than 2 seconds.Which is rude. But then, what the heck.


Happy Thought: The best thing about this Eid is that its over!I dont have to pretend that I am happy anymore!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Enlightening ُ

عند الإمام أحمد عن صهيب رضي الله عنه قال : بينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قاعد مع أصحابه إذ ضحك ، فقال : ألا تسألوني مم أضحك ؟ قالوا : يا رسول الله ومم تضحك ؟ قال : عجبت لأمر المؤمن إن أمره كله خير ؛ إن أصابه ما يحب حمد الله ، وكان له خير ، وإن أصابه ما يكره فَصَبَر كان له خير ، وليس كل أحد أمره كله له خير إلا المؤمن

رواه مسلم

: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم

"من بات وهو آمن في سربه، معافىً في بدنه، عنده قوت يومه وليلته، فكأنما حيزت له الدنيا بحذافيرها"

رواه الترمذي


عن أبي العباس عبد الله بن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال:"كنت خلف النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يوماً، فقال لي:
" يا غلام إني أعلمك كلمات: احفظ الله يحفظ، احفظ الله تجده تجاهك، إذا سألت فأسأل الله، وإذا استعنت فاستعن بالله؛ واعلم أن الأمة لو اجتمعت على أن ينفعوك بشيء، لم ينفعوك إلا بشيء قد كتبه الله لك، وإن اجتمعوا على أن يضروك بشيء، لم يضروك بشيء قد كتبه الله عليك، رفعت الأقلام وجفت الصحف".
رواه الترمذي

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Stating The Obvious

Personality Tests. I have taken tens of those..how much you are in control of your life? What Kind of fruit are you?Are you sociable or introverted? Are you the comforting type? How well do you: save/organize/manage time? Are you left handed or right handed?
Do you like mornings better or late nights? Do you talk to much on the phone? Do you hate yourself? Are you sleeping enough?How do you like your eggs? Would you like fries with that Sir? Are you having a cold?

I have taken a lot of those tests, specially when I was a teenager and we thought it was cool to answer an MCQ and would be told what we are really made of.

The thing with personality tests is that they simply tell you about yourself what you already know.I mean what a surprise I turned to be a right-handed type of person after all! who would have guessed! I know how bad I am in managing my time, I know that I always work late at night, I know that I am sociable and definitly not the comforting type, am not having cold and I couldn't really see what does it mean by being an apple/strawberry/Kiwi type of person.

Personalty Tests Just State The Obvious.

Personality tests are very popular and are very overrated. I think people take them as to get a certain re-assurance or acknowledgment of who they are. They already know, but they like to be told. you spend about 5 minutes choosing what best fits you and then you get something like "You are the Hard worker", "In another life you were a butterfly, you are a free spirit", "If you were a Disney character you would probably be Belle from Beauty and the Beast (for female) and Eric from the little mermaid (for male)"..

As long as they are not upsetting you, personality tests are great..But there are many types of Personality Tests:

1- The analogy: Symbolizing your character with that of a cartoon, fruit, animal, TV show, movie, a season, a sitcom character ( I tied Chandler and Ross once),a comic character (Ranging from Garfield to DareDevil), you name it!
These are really just for the fun of it and should never be taken seriously.

In your free time do you:
a- Sit back watch TV and eat like Garfield
b- are always looking for love like Rachel/Ross in friends
c- read a lot of books in case you showed in Jeopardy or Who Wants To Be a Millionaire
d- have to be surrounded by a group like Dolphins

If you answered:
a, then if you were a comic character you would have been Garfield
b,then if you were a sitcom you would have been Rachel/Ross
c, then if you were a TV show you would have been Jeopardy
d, then if you were an animal, you would have been a dolphin


2- The Personality Trait: You answer a set of questions and then voila! You know exactly where on the spectrum do you belong. Are your actually spending too much or too little? How much time are you having for yourself? Just one personality trait that is questioned.The answers are usually collected in points and then you see to which category you belong to.The funny thing about this one is the way they put the answer. You know that If you answer a lot of Ds you are going to be a real spender, so you cheat! If you didn't cheat and had a lot of Ds then you know the answer before hand (the point of this post) and dont need to complete this survey anyways.

So answer me this: You are in a mall, Do you:
a- Just go window shopping, you do have the necessities
b- If you really like something, you will get it.
c- No harm in pampering oneself
d- Have taken a pledge of spending every penny before you set foot outside the mall
(ان شالله ما عن حد حوش )

well.. I think كل واحد عارف نفسه


3- The Personality Type: Now that is different than the one mentioned earlier.You get an answer as a whole portfolio of your character.Your deepest personality qualities and traits are exposed. You can turn out to be a real miser, into fashion, lonely or funny and didn't even know it (yeah right).
These are typically like the Zodiac signs description of the personality..
The funny part is. If people are divided into exactly a number X of personality types, wouldn't life have been much easier? You know a co-worker is Taurus, so you try to avoid arguing with him because it would just make things worse.
You know the person you love is a Libra, so you get them flowers because they are really romantic.
مكانش حد غلب

You are?
a- Tall
b- Short
c- Medium-height

If you answered a/b/c you are as follows (this is just to prove that i can write something that can almost fit everybody):

You are the Kind Person Type. You are funny, smart, sociable, you love to hang out with friends, you are hard worker when you are needed. You are a loyal friend. you get hurt if cheated/stabbed from the back and may not forget easily. People turn to you for advise in a lot of things because you are a great listener. Small things can get on your nerves. You hate traffic jams. You are courageous and you are not afraid to tell the truth if you are asked for it. Sometimes you like to be the center of attention and sometimes you like to be left alone.
You are very romantic but a lot of times work to hide it. You forget things easily, but not dates like bdays, anniversaries and national holidays.You are stubborn but caring. You are Loud but can be quiet and observing carefully. You are modest but full of pride..

Well what can I say..aren't we all !

Saturday, December 08, 2007

I Need An Invention..


Need is supposed to be the mother of invention. I think that this is one of the most insightful phrases I have ever heard.The problem is, I have this urge (ba2aly fatra) of wanting to invent something new..I want to DO something NEW! I want to invent something, preferably computer/technology related.. Or maybe something that would change the lives of people that is simple and intuitive. I want to be an inventor:The lab, the explosives, the experiments, the excitement and everything that goes with it (even the crazy attitude)!
عايزة أخترع حاجة..


It all started when i began reading all these tech-related news in my Google Reader. I had feeds about Google, Microsoft, IBM,Oracle, AT&T, and all the gigantic organizations..they are all consumed with introducing something new almost on weekly basis.. then suddenly it hit me: I felt really distant from these companies. I envied them..why do they get to do all the interesting stuff and i am stuck here? Why can't we do something as big or as interesting or as useful? Why can't I think of something new and innovative?
This urge was triggered again this week..when attending this course where i had to learn about a certain software.The instructor kept saying things like " homma 3amleen kaza..el system bey2ddem kaza..w medeena el option dah.. w mesh masmoo7 a3mel keda.." meen homma dool? I mean who sets these rules? I want to have my own invention with its sets of rules too. why do i have just to "use" what others have made? Why can't I "make" something that others can use?


I know that "inventing" needs commitment, time, effort, management, dedication and a lot of money..but as they say, "if there is a will there is a way". Ironically, it has been translated to "ليس كل ما يتمناه المرء يدركه". I'll go with the English version.

Here is my naive plan:
  • Work for 7-10 years
  • Save salaries and think of an idea while am at it
  • Quit work.
  • Start implementing my idea with my funds. (for 7 years)
  • Get bankrupt (in 2 years time)
  • Ask family or friends for help
  • Get drowned in debt ( for another 2 years)
  • Glimpse of light
  • Get Lucky
  • People start adapting the idea(from 6-10 months)
  • Boom: My dream comes true..
  • I have a used invention :)
  • I pay family and friends their money back
  • Multimillionaire..(just enough for the couple of years I have left to spend it all)
  • Rest In Peace
Sounds Perfect!

I Need to invent something.. I don't want to invent to get rich or famous (that would be nice of course) but I "need" to invent as in an instinctive necessity. I believe that a person's value is determined by how much change he introduces into the world. We merely exist on earth to make it a better place to live in and to have a "contribution" or what the Islamic perspective calls it "اعمار الارض". This idea, as much as it is inspiring, as much as it is frightening. The need to invent suddenly is changed into a "must". I must invent something..I must make a change. Everybody has to make a change..even an insignificant change, you can't just be a burden on everyone else.

I need an invention that would make my life an added value. I need an invention to feel that I have used all the brain power and senses that God has given me to the fullest. I need an invention to give others hope that change is possible. I need an invention..I think I will be obsessed by this idea for a while..until of course I actually invent something.





Sunday, December 02, 2007

EL Feteer El Feteer El Feteer (Part II)



Scroll down to part I...

The next day, I arrived late (as usual) to find 3 of my co-workers already there. That's right. I found a big plastic bag which obviously contained the feteer. I did the usual morning greetings and sat down. I thought maybe she hasn't told them yet


H: gjoe, S gabet feteer ma3aha..
Me: Ah seme3t..(she told them then.)
H: tab olelha enny kont bahhazar..
Me: mana olt :)
S: fe eh ya gama3a eh el moshkela ya3ny lamma ageeb feteer? ana 3arfa ennaha 7aga 3'areeba w kol 7aga..bass 3ady ya3ny..
H: aywa ya S..bass mesh haynfa3 nakolha keda we7na aslan fe sherka mesh beta3etna..el nass hat2ool eh?
A: w 3ala fekra ana maba7ebsh el fteer..
S: na3am! tab eh ra2ayak ba2a ennak el wa7eed elly lazem takol..

They kept repeating themselves for 5 minutes.I didn't like where the conversation was going. I felt awkward that the girl brought the feteer and we had to eat it, and I also didn't feel it was polite that after she brought it people would have an eh-elly-enty-3amalteeh-dah attitude..So, i kinda kept quiet.

After a while things got really frozen. No winners.No Losers..I really didn't know whether we are going to ever eat that feteer after all. The girl stopped arguing and the guys stopped complaining. But still, S was immersed in the work she had to do, too immersed we knew that she was upset. She had every right. Still I didn't say a word.

After a while, S went to grab some coffee bayen, so i talked to H. I told him "berra7a 3aleeha shwaya..w mat3'lssh 3aleeha..heya 7'alas gabetoh..w shaylaah men el beet w beta3"
A: aah..w meen 3alem..dah moken tekoon ba3atet 7add men el balad ma7'sooos
Silence in the room with the thought in our heads

H:tab so2al ba2a..ya3ny heya altelek embare7?
Me: Ah..
H: tab ma2olteesh leh enn e7na konna benhazar..
Me: I did tab3an..bass heya kanet rakba dema3'aha..w ba3deen mafeesh moshkela awy ya3ny..
H: mafeesh moshekla ezzay bass..ana mest3'arab awy essara7a..
Me: ma3l..

S walked in..we all looked the other way, and whistled..

It was nearly three..
S( Finally ): 3ala fekra ana meday2a..

After we all thought it out, the shock was gone and we all felt guilty..
A: tab 7'alas ..mafeesh moshkela..tala3y el feteer :)
Me: 3ala fekra..aslan hena fel sho3'l beygeeboh delivery 3ady..zay ayy 7etta tanya.. fa mesh mawdoo3 awy ya3ny e7na benakol eh..7'alas ya benty talla3y el feteer..
S looked really cheered up and relieved.But..
S: ba3d eh ba2a..ba3d lamma el feteer bered 7'alass..
Me: ya benty 7'alas ma3lesh..hatla2eeh lessa so7'n shwaya..we7na hankloh hanakloh ya3ny mesh moshkela..

She went and got the feteer out from the "plastic bag". And put it on a plate that was far smaller than the feteer..So it started "fatwala" on the table..

A: eh dah eh dah eh dah (he really panicked).. el feteer mefatwel 3ala el tarabeza..hatooh 7aga ne7ottaha 3ala el tarabeeza 3ashan el fatwala deh..
So we "farashna" some A4 paper on the table over which the feteer just sat there waiting to be eaten.



We kept staring at the feteer and thinking "this is it". We are going to eat feteer meshaltet at work..this day has just came too soon..but actually it looked so delicious, i thought we were making such a big deal out of this whole issue.
Me: sa7ee7 ya S, howa enty gayba el feteer meneen?
S: 3ady ya3ny..gaybaah ma3aya..
Me: aywa ya3ny, olelna bass gaybaah men hena walla ba3tah 7add 3ashan ne3raf nakol add eh..
S: la2 gaybaah men hena..
Me: tab el7amdolellah!

The girl brought up a plate of cheese, so that we can eat it along with the feteer..

H: bet3mely eh ?!taweeeeh!!..e7na hankloh keda..matta3beesh nafsek..

And so we started eating, It was really delicious that every time I decide to finish up, i go and take another bite or so..

But the situation was all in all hilariously funny..I don't remember why were we laughing at, but i remember us telling S things like "teslam edeeky ya S..begad to7fa..bass mat3mlehash tany!"
And A was eating feteer that he didn't even like. Still, he ate the most! On the left you can see all the fatwala on the A4 paper..

I have to say.This was one of the best feteers I have ever tasted..I secretly thought of taking what was left "to go", but I wasn't sure if I can do that, so I kicked those silly ideas outta my head.


We finished up in haste so that we could just get it over with and of course we weren't sure whether our manager would come any minute..That would have been something! On a second thought, we would probably have said "etfaddal ma3ana..7amatak bet7ebbak!"

It passed safely el7amdolellah.We thanked S sincerely and went back to the work we had to do, relieved that it was over, and we got away with it. Ironically, that day S had a really upset stomach and wasn't able to eat anything the next day..

I have to mention that I really liked and respected S . I felt she was really kind-hearted to do such a thing. She did go through a lot to offer us a nice unforgettable meal. Now that the story is even posted, it is there for the record! God Bless Blogs!






Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Un Titled


اسألو دمي ..وسعادتي وهمي
اسألو التوفيق..والكدر والضيق
اسألو الطيب في صفاتي..والدعاء اللي في صلاتي
واسألو شهودي..الدموع اللي في سجودي
اسألوهم..واسألو دمي ..عن غلا
أمي

بن مساعد ،



Friday, November 23, 2007

Go7a wel 7omar

I will not change myself, something I do, somethings I say because of someone else. I will not change myself because of total strangers,friends, or even family.This is the way I am and this is the way I am choosing to go through life. I will not change myself unless I am totally convinced that I (and no one else) should change as an inevitable necessity. I don't care how much people are inconsiderate and ignorant telling me that I should change. I will continue to do whatever I want to do as long as I am not harming someone else and as long as I am not suffering myself.
I will not change unless I want to.
I will not change unless I want to.
I will not change unless I want to.

Thanks Go7a!

Monday, November 19, 2007

El Feteer El Feteer El Feteer (Part I)

It all started last week, at work. Out of sheer boredom, someone started a conversation about people coming "men el balad" and that they always have to bring Feteer, w mesh w gebna w batt w wezz wellazy mennoh!
Somewhere in the conversation that same person directed his talk to others asking them *humorously* to bring feteer with them the next time they conact "7add mel balad". A couple of mundane jokes here and there and the conversation was closed.

Then the weekend came and i had a missed call from one of my co-workers:

Necessary background:
We are 5 all newly hired.The girl that called is not originally from Cairo, and comes from a mohafza where they are generally characterized by generosity.We are also currently located in a temporary location, a partner company, so we are considered as guests to the current workplace and we generally should work on giving a good impression.

I then called her back and we had the following conversation (or similar to it)

S: hi gjoe ezayek 3amla eh?
Me: el7amdolelah
S: a7'barek eh?
Me: ah el7amdolellah
S: kolloh tamam?
Me: ah el7amdolellah (Get to the point)
S: Ba2ollek ya gjoe,
Me: 2omory?
S: howa el manager gaii bokra?
Me: la2 mesh 3arfa wallahy..7'eer?
S: La2 abadan.
Me:(get to the freakin point) te7eby akkalmhoolek as2aloh?
S: la2 la2 la2..ana mesh 3ayzaah yeegy.
Me: (huh?! ) tab 3ayza eh..wallah mesh 3ayzaah yeegy leh? mesh hateegy bokra? law ta3abana 7'ody agaza 3ady (she was actually sick last week, so i thought that was she calling about).
S: la la2..ana asly kont 3ayza a3mel 7aga wel manager mesh mawgood.
Me: (la 7awl wala qowata ellah bellah..men awelha keda) 3ayza te3mely eh ya3ny?
S: la2 abadan.
Me: aywa ya3ny mesh 3ayza el manager yeegy leeh?
S: asly ana kont gayba Feteer w kont 3ayza ageeboh ma3aya bokra. (it gets better)
Me: Silence errr..eee..e7m..tab..hehehhe..errr..Silence (Let alone the facial expressions)

Me (back to my senses): Tab S, enty 3ayza tegeebeeh feen ya3ny? fel sherka?
S: ah ya3ny..ommal hageeboh feen (ah ya3ny..hatgeeboh feen)
Me: mesh 3arfa wallahy, howa..howa ..la2 mesh 3arfa..(i felt really awkward at the time).
S: eh ya bnty eh el moshkela?
Me: la2 abdan..bass 3ala fekra homma kanoh beyhazaro ya3ny makansh feeh da3y tet3eby nafsek ya S wallahy.dah kan hezar ya3ny mesh begad..hezar, mara7, de7k, keda ya3ny..
S: Ah mana 3arfa.bass ana olt ageeb feteer ma3aya w keda..ana mesh 3arfa ba2a ageeb ma3aya 3asal eswed walla abyad?
Me: (Oh Dear God this girl is serious, and she is not listening to me): la la 3asal eh ya benty..balash ya S wallahy tet3eby nafsek ya3ny..dool kano beyhhazzaro.,.
S: la ya benty 3ady mafeehaash 7aga..eh el moshkela ya3ny?
Me: aywa bass hano3d fel sherka nakol feteer ya3ny..mesh 3arfa el makan yesma7 walla la2..
S: hanakol 3ala el tarabeza 3ady..
Me( tahet 3anny deh): tayeb..mesh 3arfa wallahy..tab enty hatgebeeh fe eh?
S: hageeboh fe shantah ( she really meant a plastic bag, bass she calls it just a bag).

At this point I really thought that there is no way talking her out of it.Unless I was rude.
Me: tayeb 7'alas mashy..ana lazem amshy ba2a ya S 3ashan 3andy mo7adret pre-masters.
S: tayeb okay..yalla ashoofek bokra
Me: (Rabbena yostor) okay..salam!
S: ah tab sawany sawany..ageeb ma3aya gebna bardo wallah balash?
Me (OH MY GOD): la la2..gebnet eh ya S..matet3beesh nafsek...fokkek men el gebnah 7'ales.
salam!

To Be Continued..

Friday, November 16, 2007

Right Now

Right Now it's 4 in the morning (night). I have to explain a research paper in less than 12 hours to pre-masters students . I hate the paper, I don't understand its contents and I feel totally stupid. I read the paper a hundred times and I don't get it! I will most probably make a fool of myself if I just repeated what is written in the paper. I am so desperate I called my classmate an hour ago, knowing for sure she would be sleeping. She didn't answer, and I thanked God she didn't. I feel responsible that I must explain the damn paper, but at the same time I feel I would fail this exact responsibility if I didnt explain it well. ya3ny mesh 3arfa la asebha wala akawretaha wala afhama kwayes!

Helpless Helpless Helpless.

Boy this would be funny to read when its over!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Random Thought

Sometimes it occurs to me, that waiters who work in hotels and expensive coffee shops like Cilantro and the like must come from somewhat below middle class backgrounds. Aren't they provoked by the amount of money people spend to get a cup of tea or their morning-fix of latte?
I mean these waiters would probably be starting their lives and would have economic problems. Then just to make things worse for them, a college student comes up, and ask them a 15-pound worth cup of coffee.
Isn't that a little bit overrated?If not a lot?

How does this make them feel? I know they are considered lucky from where they come from to work in such places and would probably be well paid when comparing them to others in their same job positions. Still, I think it would get on my nerves how much money these middle-class-and-above people spend on their coffees, salads and juices.


Just A Random Thought.

Let's All Welcome Her :)

My Dear Sister, Cherry ..has entered the blogosphere :)

Let's All Welcome Her and Wish Her The Best Blogging Experience.

My sister is the kind of person who holds things up in her mind, but she sure has alot to say in this blog! I think that she made this blog to rebel or speak more freely. (Actually I dont think, I know because she told me).

I really like her blog's name "Aywa Ana". It is really very simplistic yet bold. Typical Cherry :)

You would notice that she too refers to me in her blog :)..ya3ny el O7'woa wel Sadaqah!

In real life, we are VERY SIMILAR and VERY DIFFERENT..it's the same in our blogs. I relate to everything she is saying, but I won't write it myself.

Now that this free publicity & marketing campaign is over, I wish you enjoy her blog :)

P.S: I intentionally made three links to her blog..I hope she doesn't kill me!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Tagged!Blog Name..Why?

1- What is your Blog's name?

"Just keep swimming"

2- Why did you choose that name?

e7m, wallahy ana e7'tart el esm dah 3ashan film kartone 3azeez 3allaya awy esmoh..Finding Nemo.
Finding Nemo is on my top list of favorite movies ever.

"Just keep swimming" happens to be a quote by Dory, the blue fish suffering from short term memory loss. It may seem to be a curse, forgetting what just happened five minutes ago. But actually, its very alleviating. She forgets all her burdens and always manage to keep a very energetic, smiling, care-free, optimistic mood all the time! Whenever she feels down/lost/doesn't have a clue what just happened, she starts singing "Just keep swimming".
The only downfall is that being fish and all that, she doesnt really have a purpose or heading. She swims aimlessly. Hence the "just don't swim as aimlessly as fish" tag line.


"Just Keep Swimming" reflects what I believe in. I believe that even in the darkest times, as long as we know where we are heading, we should always keep moving.
We should always keep up the mood that Dory keeps, forgetting about all the past and the burdens that might keep us away from reaching our goals in this life or the Here after.

This blog helps me move on and let out many thoughts. Whether they are worthless thoughts, selfish, misunderstood, or insane, they help *Me* move on and keep swimming forward!



3- What does your blog's photo represent to you (if any)?

No picture, but if i had to put one, I would put a picture of Dory!3ashan yemshy ma3 el blo3' :)


a7ebb fel a7'er ahdy el tagg elly gaii le :
1- Deee
2- Juka
3- Cesario
4- Redzo
5- Aywa Ana

You are all being Tagged! Neyayayayahahahaha!

Finally

Finally, At last, a7'eeran!

1- Finally, I encountered an iPhone, as in I had the chance to experience it and see first hand its fascinating features! I loved the scrolling, the zooming in and out and the whole feel of the phone!kont 3amla zay el 3ayel el so3'ayar!

2- Finally, I saw a female taxi driver, I was so excited! I wanted to go to her and say "I have heard so much about you but this is the first time I see you". I don't know exactly why was I happy to see a female taxi driver though.

3- Finally, I have my internet connection working again. I had endured useless chats with the ISP Technical Support. I had endured not being able to check my e-mail, my facebook ,wikipedia and blogs.


4- Finally, I am watching King Farouq re-runs (OTV @ 8 pm). I saw exactly 3 episodes. I am not fully impressed yet, but i'll try to give it its chance.
Me: baba, heya el nas kanet bet7eb el malek faroo2 fe3lan?
Dad: yes they did.
Me: Tab homma eday2oh lamma meshy?
Dad: No they didn't.


5- Finally, I am starting to have my driving lessons :) and its a woman who is going to teach me so I am much more comfortable. She is a very highly recommended driving tutor so I guess she is professional. Can't wait. My sister already had her first lesson and she was very pleased.

6-Finally, My laptop is here :). My old grumpy slow laptop..I miss thee!!

7- Finally I am being tagged! yeppiieee! This would be my first tag efar!Thanks Fadfadation!

Friday, November 02, 2007

فقرة الكرتون


Did anybody watch kids shows when they were (much) younger? The ones that were on in the early morning when they brought a lady talking to a what seemed to be a bunch of retarded kids?Asking everyone about their hobby and what they like to do in the summer and that they have to help mamy and babi out?
And the ones with Mama Nagwa & Bo2loz? And 3arsoty, the one where there was some kind of competition and kids won prizes or something like that?

I have to tell you that I HATED THOSE TV SHOWS..I only watched them because I had no choice..I only watched them because of the"Faqret el kartone"..


They always had the "faqret el kartone", no matter what was the show..I couldn't care less about what the lady was talking about, nor wether that little kid likes to draw or that little girl likes to braid barbie's hair..JUST PUT ON THE CARTOON!!

I used to wait and wait for the lady to say " w delwa2ty a7baby el so3'ar ma3dana ma3 faqret el kartone.."
"heeeeeeeeeeeeeh!! :D:D yarab teb2a 7aga men betoo3 disney", I thought to myself.

Every time I watched these shows and waited for the cartoon i had the same disappointment:
They always put the cartoon from the middle and they always cut it before it ends.That is of course ignoring the fact that they were only 3 or 4 cartoons that they had to repeat all the time..ALL THE TIME!

I mean what is the point of watching a chase between tom & jerry if I didnt know how did it end? What is the point of watching a Pluto's ordeal with that squirrel if I didnt know what got on his nerves in the first place..why dont they show the whole thing?WHY!!

It was very humiliating and disrespectful. I mean I was a kid yes, But I felt I was being taken lightly by older people..I felt that it was not important what I liked...Do they really think that kids like the actual show more than the cartoons? 7aga te3assab fe3lan!

And the "tetr" in the beginning and the end of the show always showed a lot of snapshots from cartoons: Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Snowhite, Sleeping Beauty..this sends a message to kids that "we have all these cartoons available and we are going to put them on if you watched the show"
They never did :(.

Menhom Lellah ba2a..Menhom Lellaaah!!
They crushed my childhood expectations :(


P.S: I Googled "mama nagwa" & here is what I found! Interesting!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Ana Faffy !

Being the eldest may imply that I am all responsible w beta3..WRONG!!
I am the most faffy girl.. I am what you can safely call a *Spoiled Brat*.

1- I do say Mamy. I say "Ya Mamy" , if the lights went out suddenly or i was startled.I dont say Papy (nor Babi). I sometimes call my father by his first name, or a nickname I made up for him when I was about 3.

2- I get bored very very easily and very quickly. Evidence: I didn't like my first work not for anything other than I was bored and it was not exciting. It was going to be very enjoyable afterwards with a lot to do. Still, i wasnt patient enough to wait and see as Juka suggested.

3- I hate crowded places. I treat my personal space very sacredly. YOU CANT PENETRATE MY PERSONAL SPACE..That implies even sometimes on my family members when I am edgy.
Note: My personal space is a 0.5-1 meter radius, depending on general mood.

4- In this past Ramadan, I was sitting at work doing nothing and I come back in 5 minutes without any ordeal faced in traffic w araf. I still find myself tired or lazy to set the table for eftar with my sisters and mother.."ana gayya mel sho3'l w ta3bana"..Sometimes I fake setting the table and move in circles at the kitchen. I've set the table only the days my sister had an outside-iftar.

5- One time, I went to my friend who is far away from where I live and I had to go home using the CTA..I waited for half an hour ( This I considered to be very very long time and unbearable). When the CTA finally showed up, it turned to be full and I had to stay standing all the way. I wore my sunglasses and I started crying. Not to mention my personal space got invaded!! I HATE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. I don't have any kind of endurance.

6- I spend half an hour thinking of what to wear in the morning. I have this rule that I can't wear the same thing nor the same color 2 days in a row.

7- The most important person to me is Ommo Tamer our maid. She does my bed , my clothes, my laundry, my food. When she is home, bakkasel attala3 el mofta7 3ashan ommo tamer will open the door.I really appreciate what she does and how tired she can be sometimes. Still, I don't do the simplest chores on my own.

8- I dont cook. Not that I dont like to,Not that I dont want to. I just don't. The few meals i have cooked were really good , 7atta beshahdet ommo tamer nafsaha..bass I just dont do it.


Other than that..I am very nice :)

Monday, October 29, 2007

Soora Soora Soora

I am the worst person ever to take a shot! Picture is always too dark, too off-center, too bright, too blurry, too very wrong angle.. I dont know the slightest basic about photography. Sometimes, I play with my humble digital camera and see what options it's got but still, I am the worst person ever to take a shot. Alot of people, specially bloggers, i noticed are into photography, they always remind me of how much I need to learn if someday I decided to go...novice :)

Anyways, that said, I am still very proud of the pictures I am presenting in this entry. They were taken a couple of fridays ago. I was in Grand Hyatt and was taken by the sunset, and the nile..I know it is a very exhausted scenary, but this one is different, this one was taken by me :)

I didn't have the digital camera with me, but i started shooting with my 2.0 MegaPixel mobile camera anyways..

A Before Picture, that is before I reset some options in the camera..

An After Picture, much more vibrant

Redundant Shot


Lazy Boats
The Sun? Don't Ask.



Have A Nice Day!

Fatta7 3eenak Takol Malban

For El-Leela El Kbeera FANS!!

zomaara sho7'leeela..3asfoora ye7leela..tarateer ya wad tarateer.. tarateer tarateeer tarateeeeeer!



Trivia: My sister (cherry) doesn't like El-Leela El Kbeera AT ALL..she saw it when she was a little kid and was not able to categorize the "3arayes"..She asked her self.."If these were humans, why do they look like that? If not, why are they so big on screen and talking like human beings?". She was terrified from the lion whose roar was -3ala 7add qawlaha- Mor3eba!!


Ta3alaaly Ommaaal!

Feeh Baytena Teenager

I am the eldest of2 other sisters. One of them is the one I constantly refer to in my blog, the one that is more girlish than I am and of course a lot sweeter!

I have another sister, the one whom this entry is entirely dedicated for. She is 14 years old. A typical teenager. She reminds me of myself ALOT when i was her age. carbon-copy that is. Deee also claims that she was so much like my sister when she was her age.

Being a teenager and all that, she is very concerned about her privacy, she doesn't tell us any of her passwords(3andena fel beet its not a password wala 7aga ..its just a "word"), she doesn't sign in automatically, and we should never be anywhere near the screen when she is chatting with her friends or anywhere near the room where she is talking on the phone.
She listens to the weirdest music. She rarely shares with us any of her problems or concerns in school or with friends. I am not saying she NEVER does. She occasionally does.
She is a terrible liar. She gets caught easily. That's why she doesnt tell. She simply says "mesh 3ayza a2ool..ao mekkasela a2ool". She is not doing anything wrong. She just wants to be left alone.


Don't get me wrong, she is a very wel raised sweet little girl. I am just concerned about her insecurities at that age and the way she deals with them.

One thing I am very proud of in her is that she reads Harry Potter like she is addicted. She watched 1-5 as movies and then read 6 and 7 and now she is reading backwards starting from part 5 and decending.

I told dee once, "Dee, ana ba7'aaf 3aleeha awy w mesh 3arfa a3mel ma3aha eh..sa3at lamma bakkalem ma3aha i turn into a mom and tell her e3mely keda w keda 3'alat"

Dee told me," sa7beeha ya gjoe, go out with her and do things together"..
and guess what, I decided our "common activity" to be me helping her in her studies.
How convenient and how very stupid of me.

My real concern: My sister has that sweetest heart and the kindest soul. She would do anything for her friends. I am very concerned that she be-friends the wrong people someday. She is the best of her friends and I dont her to be influenced by them. I am not her mom, and definitely mesh ha2a3adaha gamby, bass I wish her the best in her life and future. I dont want her to feel anything less than great.
When I was a teenager, I was a Kol3eeka-Tamshy-3ala-El-Ard. It has passed el7amdolelah. And I know that part of being a teenager is being wild, rule-breaker, and with a turbulent mood.

But being a teenager once isnt helping me now..still most of the time I feel I don't know what to do!

Any ideas?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My Resignation

I handed in my resignation last week. Yes, I've quit. I chose the more enjoyable and less salary job.
I don't regret it at all(okay maybe a little bit), although many had told me to stay where I am (was), and they weren't wrong. I just chose something I think is more suitable for me, that's all. I wish me the best of luck in case I've stayed in some other parallel universe.

The other thing about this job quitting is that it came too soon. People were like "enty le7e2ty ya benty?". They are right I made a choice too soon. But I am also happy I made it. AT least I made my research and a lot of est7'aras and that , for me, is enough.

It was weird quitting though. I am not at all experienced in all that stuff, being a fresh graduate and all that. Here how it went.


The thing about the resignation, is that I didnt know what to tell the people. They were good and very respectable people. There is no "situation" or any "drama" that pre-occurred my resignation. My mentor sure didnt like the news and the management thought something happened and that the reason "I found something more suitable" was not good enough.


Friday, October 19, 2007

Aly Baba

Remember when we were a lot younger and they always showed this movie on El Fada2aya El Masrya or El-Qnaha-Ooola.The one with Yehia el fa7'arany and es3ad yones and el fa7'arany's son. Yes, I am talking about the one and only: Aly Baba wel Arba3een 7aramy. Remember that chubby cute little kid? That teenage disturbed guy and his study partner? Remember that kinder garden teacher and the police officer at the end of the movie?

I loved this movie! I loved each and every character in this movie. The little kid was adorable. But most of all, this movie was a turning point for me. It made me very skeptic about ALOT of things or more specifically i stopped enjoying any fairy tales or Disney classics. I still love them. But I perceive them in another way.
Examples:

Aly baba: he is not considered "ragel tayeb" wala 7aga..he IS a "ragel 7aramy".

Cinderalla: She liked the prince because he is rich. He liked her because she's blonde.How Very compatible. Mesh be3eed tekoon betemasala7 3aleeh 3ashan tebbatal tesht3'al..w howa la2a feeha el bent elly ma2as gazmetaha tool 3omroh bey7lam beeh.

Little Mermaid: Okay, she is an ambitious one. but again Too much of a sacrifice for some guy she doesn't even know. It turned out fine for her fel a7'er..bass that's only because it's a fairy tale.

Alladin: Tab3an the guy didn't have any choice but lying to Jasmine about who he really is, because girls ARE materialistic with high expectations. No matter how bored she is from her oh-so-mundane palace, when the time comes, she would want the Sha2a we 3arabaya w mahr..

Shrek: Well that's what I call a realistic "fairy tale" the ugly ogre who marries the princess. Dayman el bent el7elwa beyb2a 3aleeha el 3een w tedabes fe gawaza ko7eety..

Shrek 2: wa7da 3'awya fa2r, the ogre gave her the option of being humans for the rest of their lives and she was like "naaaah! I like us that way". They probably had this ending to have a 3rd part of Shrek.

I apologize if I ruined any "childish perspective" for any of you out there..but that's what blogs are for: sharing ideas :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Note To Self

- First Impressions Never Last. I am a living proof.
- I need to go exercising.
- I miss Ramadan Already.
- I need to focus on my pre-masters.
- You can't change people, you can only change the way you deal with them.
- Do3aa is Magic!
- Never go to the movies fel Eid.
- People are NOT stupid. Strange, I know.
- Competition: I hate and can't live without it.
- I need to travel abroad. I need to travel abroad. Ya Rab bas maykonsh lel 3elag.
- I am currently suffering from AMDS: Animated Movies Deficiency Syndrome.
- Family is the best thing. Even when you are fighting
- Hope is the second best thing. Even when you are disappointed.
- For the first time in my life: I decided I'll help my little sister in her studies.
- I hope i never quit blogging. It is very relieving.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Gazmet el 3eed :)



You are looking at my new greyish-black shoes! There are 3 special things about this pair of shoes:


1- They are bought with my first salary.
2- I will wear them isA on the first day of Eid.
3- Now me and my sister will have 2 black shoes to share instead of 1.

:)

Updates:

- I never visited that shrink btw, the appointment was postponed until after Eid. I guess I will have more days living in this phobia
- I am praying so many este7'ara's for a new job opportunity. I have no clue what to do. I have until after Eid to make my decision. It's with a less salary but a lot more challenging ENJOYABLE job than the one I am in right now. HELP!
- Mom: Masr ta2reeban el wa7eeda elly sayma ennahrda.
Me: LOL, men kotr matrya2na 3ala Lybia awel Ramadan.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Civilizations

I had a very interesting conversation with my father yesterday. He was telling me about the "circle of life",exactly like in that lion king movie.

He felt that I am not very "happy" in my work with a pre-mature judgment of the work place and that I am rushing any successes or that i have a too early "i wanna make an impact" attitude. He is very right. I spent exactly 1 month and 3 days at work. Nothing dramatic happened that would make me want to quit. But also things are having a slow pace.

My father started talking about civilizations!

"The earliest civilizations started around the rivers. A very prosperous environment, The land, the climate, the food. Things were (relatively) easy and people settled down around the rivers and started farming and agriculture.They had a lot of resources and they were lucky,They built up their civilizations very fast. Think of it: Egypt, Iraq, China. The oldest civilizations ever.

On the other hand, civilizations that had to build up the hard way and "yen7atoh fel sa7'r", may not have grown as fast but they are far more powerful economic-wise and endurance-wise. They grew slowly but surely.They started from scratch. They had to create their resources. Today, Europe, Japan and the US lead the world. While countries living by their rivers are doing the same thing for 7000 years. "ma7alak serr"."

Things almost never end up the way they started and there are a lot of ups and downs in life. He is right(again).

My father then told not to rush.He told me, "patience my dear, patience..patience or you're grounded!".

Lamma neshoof!

Monday, October 01, 2007

The Best Words

Fadfadation's last post reminded me of an even more stunning event that happened in the mosque at taraweeh time, or more accurately the break in between.

A few days ago,The Sheikh was talking about some topic I don't really remember. Anyways, the Sheikh then said that today we have a gift. Something that is better than "el ard w ma 3alyha".

He then said " ma3ana ragol 3ayez yosh-her eslamoh"

People's voices suddenly roamed the place "Allaho Akbar" and "Masha Allah" and "Sob7aan Allah"
and of course there were people who were like "howa aal eh? aal eh?"

He then gave the microphone to the man.

"Ashado An La Elaha Ellah Allah, w Ashadoh Ann Mohammadan Rasoolo Allah. Radeetoh Bellah Rabban w bel Islam Deenan w Bemo7ammdan Nabyan".

He had a deep voice. He sounded nervous and relaxed. He sounded sincere. He sounded very cautious, saying every word slowly as if he could absorb it and take it in. As if he didn't want the moment to pass. I think he thought about his life before and how it will turn to be. I think he would have have thought about all the things that he used to do and will never do again and all the things he will do that he never did before.

The first prayer, The first sojood, the first tasbee7, the first Ramadan, the first Eid.. :)
Converting to Islam. An everlasting drastic change in a person's life.

The Shiekh then said "Alhamdollelah w Allaho Akbar..Man kan yoreed an yanzor e Ragol laysa 3aleeh 7'atee2a ..fal yanzor le haza al ragol."The Shiekh then continued the prayer."Qoomo ela salatokom Yar7amkom Allah"

I had the same contemplating reaction as fadfadation's. I spent a few moments thinking..We say Al-Shahada several times a day. We say it very fast more like,

"ashhadoanalah-elah-ellahallah-wahashodoanna-mohamadanrasoloallah".

We say it without thinking of its impact or depth. We rarely say it slowly as the man did. We don't appreciate its blessing and we take it for granted. We take our Islamic identity for granted.

I was very happy to witness such an incident. I was curious of course to hear about the details and what made him convert. But really that didn't matter. What matters was that he converted :)

I came back to my mom telling her the whole story, with more drama of course. She very peacefully said " yeaah..deh a7la kalemat..Radeto Bellah Rabban w Bel Eslam Deena w Be-Mohommadan Nabyan"

p.s: Ramadan arrab ye7'las :( ..wel 3eed gaii :)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Ana mesh osayar oz3a..ana taweel w Ahbal !!

Next Saturday isA, I will be visiting a Shrink (a.k.a psychiatrist)

Well, I had my part of 6 months living in fear and anticipating any bad thing that might happen. I grew out of it ofcourse..But I have living in chronic fear from something else since Monday12th October 1992. Sounds familiar?

Yes, Its earthquakes. I fear earthquakes and I don't seem that can get it over with on my own. I am continuously anticipating an earthquake. I wake up in the morning wondering if it will occur today. I go to sleep wondering whether it will occur while I am sleeping.The though of Earthquakes comes to mind not less than 50 times a day. To tell you the truth, it is hard enough for me writing this and spilling it out.

My father has told me that this is "ellet Eman beallah".That i should have more faith than this and not let outrageous thoughts possess my life. I tried.Not hard enough i admit. But again I think I need help. Professional help.

I remember crying more than once telling myself that I can't live like this. I have a very troubled memory on the days of the earthquake and the aftershocks. Childhood memories are very deeply engraved in one's brain and stay with them almost forever!

So My father took the initiative and took an appointment for me next Saturday. It is very funny as an experience going to a shrink. My picture of a shrink is Abdel Menem Madbooly and that guy from "analyze this". I feel sorry for shrinks sometimes. Listening is very tiresome..and alot of times you might feel telling the patient "Go get a life will ya?!"

I feel that deep down, the guy would be like "zelzaal eh bass! howa el wa7ed na2es..nass ma3andahash mashakel w beta2llef 7aga te7'aaf 3aleeha!!"

Very True.Very Funny. :)

Will keep you updated!

Monday, September 24, 2007

The Call(s)

I recently changed the mobile profile. it doesnt ring nor vibrate. Just flashes the caller's name/phone.
Today i placed my mobile behind the laptop and forgot all about it.
I opened the mobile @ 12 to find 11 missed calls.All of which are from my sister.

I thought something happened. I said 7'eer allahoma eg3alo 7'eer..and I called.

Me: Aywa ya sherry feeh 7aga?
Sister(in a tired angry voice):gjoe, enty labsa el gazma el sooda?
Me:
Me:
Me: Aywa ya cherry feh moshkela..?
Sister: Asl ana kont mettal3aha 3ashan albesaha..w kaman mesh la2ya wala daboos 3ashan el tar7a..enty betakleehom walla eh..feen el dababees?
Me: Sorry ya cherry wallahy.. ma7'tesh baly..Im sorry
Sister: Tab a3mel eh delwa2ty?
Me: elbesy gazma tanya (duuh!)
Sister: la2 ana 3ayza albes el gazma deh bezzat..ana elly kont mettala3aha
Me: Tab a3mel eh ya cherry ya3ny..ana fel sho3'l.
Sister: 7'alas 7'alas..mafeesh moshkela..ana hattasaraf bye.

1 minute later:
Cherry calls.

Me: Aywa ya cherry feeh 7aga tany?
Sister: gjoe howa enty labsa eh?
Me:
Me:
Me: Eswed ya3ny..el monto el eswed 3ala el jeeba el baige
Sister(Suggesting a brilliant idea): Tab matelbesy el gazma el bonny..ma7desh wa7'ed baloh
Me: Cherry ya 7abebty ana fl sho3'l..mesh haynfa3 aagy le mazagek ya3ny..
Sister: la la la..ana ha3addy 3aleeky..te7ebby agblek anho gazma?
Me: te7ebby tedeeny be anho gazma?
Sister(laughing): agblek anho wa7da ya gjoe ?
Me(In a i-dont-believe-we-are-sisters tone): Hateely elly gabohaly in my birthday ya cherry.
Sister: heeeh...7ader :D

2 minutes later:
Cherry calls.
Me: haa ya cherry weselty?
Cherry: ah betahaya2ly..howa e7n feen yasta M?
Me: tab ana hanzelek
Cherry: okay.
Me (Still on the mobile): Enty feen ya cherry ana mesh shayfaky..
Cherry: Bossy waraky.
I see the car, hang up and hop in:
We switch shoes. My sister laughs.I comment by saying that I will blog about this btw..
She tells me "la2a ya gjoe matfda7neesh". I give her the "watch me" look and hop out of the car straight to the blogspot.com.

P.S: I know what you must be thinking..eh el nas elly ma3andahash 3'eer gazma sooda wa7da deh..I don't have anything in my defense other than..we have alot of brown shoes (Just in case!):D

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Work Work Work

I started work first of this month. and let's just say that I was excited to get the job (although it was totally unplanned for) and I decided to give it a shot. Like any other job, it has its good sides and bad sides. This morning i feel like "I dont see myself in this job 2 years from now". Other mornings I feel like "This job would be great once they start giving me tasks".


I am still at the learning phase. I have a mentor whom I should be asking about how the business works and I also have to learn about this software. The thing about the learning process is that it is not methodological. Reading and asking questions sometimes isn't as smooth as one might think. I also have to grasp the concept of "co-workers". People that are not friends but I see them more than I see my family members.

Given that I decided to look at the bright side of things. I will list down the things that I like about the job(Although momentarily, I don't really like it) .

1- Generally, I should be grateful of getting a job 2 months from graduating, with a reasonable salary.
2- Work is a 5-6 minutes walk away from home. It takes the same time as it takes to finish an M&Ms.In Ramadan specially, being this close from home sure is a blessing.
3- The turnover in the company is very very low! People have been working in the company for years and years and years..People seem to like it here. I don't know what do they like in it awy..but turnover is always a good sign.
4-I am working in an IT team of 22 members (They hiring a few more). I believe that a team of that size is reasonable for an individual's work (like myself) would have a significant impact.
5-The software i am learning belongs to a flourishing and a rare field. Redzo claims that afterwards(let's say 1.5-2 years from now) my salary would be doubled. Lamma neshoof ya Redzo!! I must also mention that it was Redzo who told me to send up my CV and give it a shot(Many thanks..for now :P).

To be honest, the main thing that I don't like about this job is that I am not working in a software development house but rather a support function in a company. This means that there are no standards in the way things go.The team are hard workers, devoted and respectable but are not very professional.Aaah! And my mentor!! I am really having difficult time dealing with him. He is very good mentoring-wise, as in he is never hesitant in explaining (more than once)anything that I dont understad. That's enough right? Naaah! He gets on my nerves.Something in the way he talks and deals with other co-workers. He is what you can call "stiff". Not rude. But stiff.


Seems like survivable.I don't want survivable. I want enjoyable. I'll give it more time of course.I hope I don't regret it!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

This is not a commerical



This is the only fanoos I found at home. I love Ramadan. It is for sure the best month of the year.It has been said so in the Quraan. One night is far better than a thousands months.

Ramadan! I miss thee! I mean I love the traffic from 3 to 5 .If you want to go anywhere and started to be on the streets at 3, you would reach your destination at the exact time if you moved 10 minutes before the eftar!
I love how all egyptians ironically gain wieght in this specific fasting month.I mean people have been packing the streets to get all the "Yameesh" as if they were hibernating for winter! I mean com'on people!

I also miss the "7'eyam" with all the sheesha and the chit-chats..There are also the nature-friendly "7'ema" with just the chit-chats.

I am so looking forward to this "so7oor 3ala an3'am el DJ" in some fancy restaurants...
And never forget those 15+ different exclusive Ramdanic TV series. I wonder how many of these series would be exact copies of last year's and the one before and the one before.

Ramadan is a one of a kind opportunity to gather and socialize with friends. you can't get a better atmosphere..People suddenly realize that they have all the time in world,not to read Quraan and Pray a little extra, but to stay all day in the kitchen preparing for the breaking the fast meal..as if we have been fasting for a whole month not just half a day through which we were already sleeping aslan!
And given that I just started work, I can't wait to deal with all my co-workers and manager whom have not had their cigarettes and morning-mood-fixer cups of coffee.

Ramadan I miss thee!!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

huh?!

So yesterday I was calling the pharmacy to get some medicine for my father. I dialed the number and before even completing it, I heard that lady's operator voice saying something. I didn't pay attention to it and I thought I just dialed that "raqam tamen zeyada" wrong. I dialed again and here she goes again.I listened to what she was saying "men fadlek da3 el samma3a" I waited to hear the whole message... It turned out that this was the whole message "men fadlak da3 el samma3a,Please something something down"..I was like..huh?! tab tell me why you are not in the mood to process this phone call..I mean what's your problem lady why can't I make that call!!wenty malek a7ott el samma3a walla la2..men fadlek enty mesh 3ayza asma3 sootek.

Stubbornly, I dialed again. She says the stupid message again.I think that this message contains some condescending tone. Its unclear(I understand the part where I have to end the call,but WHY?) and annoying. I might be overreacting to be actually blogging about it. But its like in the movies when someone is calling 911 and another person tells them "Hang up the phone" in a you-have-to-obey attitude.

The expected end:we didn't pay the phone bills..it seems that I inherited my Procrastination habits/talent from my parents :)

Thursday, August 30, 2007

A Dream Of Mine!

nefsy 7aga wa7da bass ..7aga wa7da bass teb2a 3edla fel balad deh..Just a small thing..Just a small accomplishment.. w ma7desh ye2olly el ahly..kollena fakreen el match beta3 barchelona lamma kano beyla3boona w homma me3'amdeen w beygro bedahrohom w beygeebo goal!

ayy 7aga teb2a 3edla..Education , tab Medicine, tab Engineering, tab R&D, tab traffic tab industry, tab ayy 7aga. tab balash el 7agat el gadd deh..nefsy neb2a 3deleen fel aflam elly benm3lha..wel a3'any wel masr7ayat..wel e3lanat

tab maslan nenteg 3arabya wa7da bass..yeb2a mashroo3 qawmy w nessadarha barra..tab balash 3arabya..3agala..kawetsh.ayy 7aga ..tab balash 7aga sa3ba keda...nefsy neb2a 3edleen fe 7aga simple based on international standards. Maynfa3sh maslan ne3mel alam zay el e2lam el Parker? walla forshet senan zay Oral-B? walla sa3a zay el sa3at el swesry?

7'alas balash standards w ISO w mesh ISO..ne3mel zay China! ne3mel 7agat baseeta zay maslan le3ab el atfal ao fawanees..ao sagageed Salah w Seba7..7aga teksef..dah 7atta el otn (taweel el teela beta3 el social studies) maba2ash zay el awel...


tab dah 7atta el service fel mata3em... teb2a dafe3 services and taxes add keda (elly betet2assem 3aleena deh) w bardo el ragel ye2oom yermeelak el taba2 fe weshak w ye2ollak law sama7t eshrab besor3a 3ashan feeh da3't ..tab maho tab3an lazem yeb2a feeh da3't 3ashan e7na wa2t el 3'da..7aga 3'areeba geddan!

Nefsy fe mowazzaf 7okooma..mowazzaf wa7ed bass..mobtasem..mesh lazem ye3mel sho3'loh..mesh lazem yeegy fe mawa3adoh..bass yeb2a a3ed mobtasem...eh el moshkela lamma yed7ak keda fe weshak w ye2ollak "Ma3lesh ta3ala bokra" to2olloh maynfa3sh bokra..yed7ak aktar w ye2ollak "Ma3lesh ya ostaz..ta3laa 3ala nafsak shwaya "..sa3teha hateegy ma7'soos 3ashan el mowwazaf el mobtasem..

Nefsy el nass tebbatal tedfa3 feloos lel tamargy 3ashan ta7'od dorha!! 7atta el door beya7'dooh
befloos..Nefsy el nass tebbatal te7regny fe koll 7eta 3ashan ta7'od feloos. Nefsy el nass tebbattal te2ool "Koll Sana wenty tayeba ya fandem" w "Ma3 alf salama ya fandem" w "Rabbena ye7'aleeky ya fandem" w "Rabbena yewaf2ek ya fandem w yenwalek elly fe balek " w "tab w 7eyat el de7ka el 3asal deh" wana ab2a mekkashara aslan!

Nefsy 7aga melly ba7lam beeha deh te7sal..
Nefsy neb2a ma3rofeen barra be ayy 7aga 3'eer el gamal wel ahramat w nahr el nil..None of which has anything to do with what we are doing or will be doing..

Laky Allah ya Masr!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Confused

I've been doing a really stupid mistake. Ever since I graduated, I took people's advice concerning my future. Mainly Family and Friends. They told me what they think is better for me. They told me based on their experiences and preferences. The mistake relies in that I really forgot what I want. Its sounds very trivial problem, but I really don't think that I know what I want anymore. I am confused. What's best for me? What should I hunt for in my life? I want to be happy just like anybody else. But how?Should I go for a oh-so-glamorous career that might result in an unbalanced life? Should I sit home for a while, take a break and have some fun? Should I take the masters degree?Should I be a TA?Should I try to do all that? I don't know. I really dont. Even now when I sit down and think what do I really want to do, I just recall all the advices and get even more confused.I don't know who is right and who is wrong.

I know that I am entitled to do my own mistakes. That's my right,you know, to learn from them and all that. But I dont want to get stuck at a job that I don't want for example. I want to try as much as possible make right choices in life.
I prayed est7'ara..maybe not as much as I did for example before entering college. But Still I get all these conflicting signs that sometimes make me feel even more confused. I mean a couple of days ago some friend told me that I should go for the maximum. I should go as far as I can. She made me convinced. Nothing would stop me.I will try to work hard and prove myself and blabla bla. Then at the evening I saw this sit-com where a mother quits a really good job opportunity because her kids felt that their mom is not as available as she used to be. This means that there are things that get in the way.Major things.There are things that would and will stop me. and that maybe I shouldn't be shooting for the top. Just a satisfactory job position.

Can you see my point? I am making choices mainly based on what people think and what I watch on TV. That is a major mistake on its own. I forgot about me and what I want.
Maybe the problem is that I am thinking too much. Maybe that career thing is so overrated. There are things in life that should take my attention at least as half as much. Such as my health, my family and the happiness of people around me.

I am still confused!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Nawwart Masr..Nawwart Masr..Nawwart Masr

Sometimes it occurs to me that Egyptians are not creative at all. I know this is a false stereotype. To prove it wrong, I would say that I consider myself a creative Egyptian.:P

To prove it right, have you ever watched that no-longer aired commercial about Egypt tourism?
The one with all the celebrities in Egypt, standing in line and everyone say just one line" Nawwart Masr" keda, very bluntly. No Creativity at all. Just the same line over and over and over and over again. And the wide smiles they have on their faces!!I mean these are actors for goodness sake. The easiest thing they do is put a wide smile on thier faces and say welcome!

Egyptians are creative. The problem is that they "beystasehloh". I mean how much effort did it take them to pull this commercial off? Nothing. Give it some thought!
I mean using celebrities in commercial is a long used and proven to be effective strategy. But use it right. 7'aloohom ye3'annoh maslan, ye2ofoh fe dayra w ye2oolha ma3 ba3deehom fe nafas wa7ed, 7add yekkashr for a change.

I see this commericial and i I feel embarrassed. I feel like I want to spend my vacation in Turkey, Malayia or even KSA (Jeddah..3'eeer). Anywhere but here.

I sensed this summer that Arabs are not as everywhere in Egypt as they used to be. There are a lot of Arabs, but not as before. Funny enough i just read a report in the newspaper that the number Arab tourists has decreased to 15% this July. They claimed that it is because hotels have increased their residential costs. So, they escaped to Turkey and Malaysia.

If you ask me, I think that its that commercial...Nawwart Masr!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Posts That Never Got Posted!

Noticing my humble list of blog entries, i realized that i have a lot of drafts. Incomplete posts. They were very funny to read.Not necessarily funny in content. But funny in memory. One time i would start something like:

"Why is life so hard? Why didnt our parents tell us that its not fun at all? Where did all the fun go suddenly? I hate my life. I blame my parents. I'll go grab some choc ". and i was like "yeaaah! i remember this day! i had an argument with my parents and i was frustrated"

Reading some old drafts made me feel sorry for myself too. (se3ebt 3ala nafsy), I had about 3 posts talking about fear. From different aspects:

-Being in my early 20s, I wonder alot about what would life bring on. I wonder sometimes if I am going to suffer some tragic events or suffer from any kind of chronic pain. What if I hit someone with a car and i actually killed them?What if i married someone who turned out to be an abuser and i had to get divorced?Everything is possible in life.

-I am almost always living in fear from what's next. I'm always fearing having dreams that wont be reached or leading a life that I hate. I'm always in fear. Its stopping me from

-"If you know me just a little, i would know that my biggest fear is Earthquakes.. i was here that dreadful october the 12, 1992. I felt it. I fear quakes ever since. I feel there is an earthquake about 20 times a day on different levels of alertness.
I was very attentive as a little kid. and i saw all those buildings that fell apart and all those families that"

All these drafts of course were before i went to therapy ( read that la ta7zan book).

I also had more than one attempt to write about my procrastination. Always doing things in the last minute.Always.

-"Having an exam tomorrow. didnt start anything except 3ereft enn e7na 3aleena 3 chapters. maleesh nefs. i am wasting my time either reading some blogs, the papers, or arguing with my sist"

-
"So why do i procrastinate? I don't really know. But let's say i have to do something by a certain time/date. This is exactly what goes through my mind," I still have time, it would take my about just half an hour to do this,its not hard enough yet. hmmm, ba2aly kam yoom i didnt check that annoying blogger." And i go to check that annoying blogger and you know the rest of the scenario."

-" 7atta el salah ya gjoe bet2a7'reeha le a7'er el wa2t e7'ss!!"

It was fun going though my old never-published posts..Even if i stop blogging one day, i think i would certainly try to get back to this blog, read all the published and not published entries just to remember how great/stupid/fun/naive it was to be me!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Another Misuse Of Terminology

Scene: ma3rad el nady (abo koll 7aga be 5'amsa geneeh w abo balash kattar menno)

Sister: gjoe, ooly lel ragel 3ayzeen ko7l.
Me: 3ayza wa7ed mascara law sama7t.
Sister: Mascara eh ya gjoe! ana 3ayza ko7l..
Me, (Confused yet Confident): Howa Mascara mesh ya3ny ko7l bel english?
Sister: La2a tab3an, el mascara beta3 el romoosh, el ko7l dah alam ben7ottoh gowa el 3een, 3ashan ye7adedha.
Me: Ya Sater Ya Rab..haat ya 3am ellyy bet2ool 3aleeh dah.
Sister (examining the ko7l): w dah bekam dah law sama7t?
Me: ana mesh hageeb alam ye7'za2lek 3eneek be aktar men 10 geneeh.
El Ragel: be etneen geneeh..bass 3ashan 7'atrek be 3ashra geneeh.

Me Giving A Fake Smile.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Grrrr!

There is this blogger who is really getting on my nerves. Everytime I read an entry I literally get higher blood pressure. The thing is that "this blogger" makes alot of judgments and jumps into alot of conclusions that makes you at first think that "this blogger" is making perfect sense.Everytime I read the entry, and some comments. I really fight the urge of writing something back. I know that whatever I write "this blogger" won't like it and they would somehow think that I am so blinded from the truth/reality/bla bla. I know that whatever arguments we would make it wont go anywhere coz simple I disagree with almost every thing "this blogger" is claiming.
I just feel sorry for the readers who are like "braaavoo! hayel , momtaz". I mean "this blogger" really writes well, structure wise and in building the logic and all that, even better than me I admit. But again I am hating what "this blogger" is calling for. Seriously Get A LIFE!!
I just hope that I dont make enemies in the blogosphere. I have enough at reality.
P.S: Its not you btw :D

تيست

هذا الانتري هو اختبار لسرعة كتابتي باللغة العربية و لان البلوج او المدونة بحاجة الى مظهر جديد او نيو لوك. الساعة الان 4:07
سأقوم بتسجيل الوقت بعد الانتهاء. ان هذه الركاكة في التعبير تذكرني بأفلام الكرتون العربية. أو باأصح المدبلجة. و تذكرني أيضا بأليخندرو و ماريا و تيريسا في المسلسل المكسيسي الجديد مو القديم. و من الظريف ان في الترجمة يستخدمون عبارة "تبا لك ايها الوغد" للكناية عن اي شتائم في الافلام او المسلسات الفكاهية مثل فرندز أو الاصدقاء.

و على صعيد اخر فلقد علمت الاسم الكامل لليبيا. فكما أن الاسم الكامل لمصر هو جمهورية مصر العربية فان الاسم الكامل لليبيا هو:
الجماهيرية العربية الليبية الشعبية الاشتراكية العظمى .
هههههههههههههههه او لووووووول


ومن ناحية اخرى, فلقد اكتشف العلماء عقار جديد لمرض السكر و هو مل يعطي الامل لكثير من مرضى السكر . و لكن كغيره من الاكتشافات سيكون هذا اخر خبر عن العقار الجديد و بلبلدي لن يقدم ولا يؤخر.
حسنا لقد سئمت الكتابة بالعربية و لقد طفح الكيل .
تبا لك ايها الوغد


الساعة الان 4:27


Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Man3an lel E7rag

I must say that I've embarresed myself more than once ,blabbering nonsense about whatever just to show that I know what I am talking about. I confess it's very ugly, and painful sometimes. But the area I am the weakest at..is the terminology that girls use to describe certain aspects of clothes. Example words are(Some Are Misspelled, I just wrote them down as pronounced ):

Drappe(bekaser el e)
Cardigan
Shamwa
Cordiroi
Bolerooo
des-mie-seasons
Tallon
Janjaa :D
Toll


These were just a sample of the most common words that girls use and I have to think for a bit before knowing what exactly are they refering to.

You could find me having a conversation like this:

A Friend: Kont fe fara7 ba2a embrae7 wel tallon talla3 3eeny..
Me: Wenty telbesy bana-tallon leeh wenty ray7a fara7 elbesy fostan.
A Friend: Silence (Baby Crying At the Background)
Me (relialsing that I shouldnt have said that): eh ya benty ana bahhazar ma3aky ..hahaha

Me: (asking My sister): Howa eh el tallon dah elly bey2oolo 3aleeh?
Sister: Silence (Another Baby Crying At the Background)...Dah el gazma elly be ka3b ya gjoe.
Me: Ana bat2ked bass ennek 3arfa


You could also easily hear me saying something like this:

El shanta ba2a el cardigan (refering to cordoroi ) elly konty labsaha el marra elly fatet kanet lazeeza..


Man3an lel e7rag, I will stop blabbering the next time I don't understand what I am talking about. But now i know every word on the before-mentioned list and I can confidently start any conversation concerning these terms. 7atta bel amara el gazma el Drappe elly ana lessa gaybaha.

Can't Lose It

I Lost my pessimistic view of life, and Proud. But I cant seem to control my temper yet. I need some anger management. I Can't Lose My Ugly Anger Habits of Shouting, Being outta control and saying "Kalam zay el Semm".

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Old/New Interests

Since I am not working yet, there is nothing much to do except some hang outs, TV and internet.
I was a reader once. I used to read a lot, that people picked and made fun of me. It was a part of my character (along with the glasses I used to wear,yea..I had the total looks) .On holidays whenever we go out, I had to have a book. I didn't enjoy people's company as much as I did books.

Something happened since then. I stopped reading as I used before. I think I must re-gain this lost beautiful habit. specially with all the time I have doing almost nothing :D.

But I want to read in very new things. Not just novels. I want to read about astronomy, Islamic Books,Biographies, and Sociology. I also read some arabic poetry some place over the internet, I didnt understand it awy but I thought that it would be nice to enrich my arabic vocab with words nobody uses anymore .

To Deee : I will start with that Pride and Prejudice :$.