Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Posts That Never Got Posted!

Noticing my humble list of blog entries, i realized that i have a lot of drafts. Incomplete posts. They were very funny to read.Not necessarily funny in content. But funny in memory. One time i would start something like:

"Why is life so hard? Why didnt our parents tell us that its not fun at all? Where did all the fun go suddenly? I hate my life. I blame my parents. I'll go grab some choc ". and i was like "yeaaah! i remember this day! i had an argument with my parents and i was frustrated"

Reading some old drafts made me feel sorry for myself too. (se3ebt 3ala nafsy), I had about 3 posts talking about fear. From different aspects:

-Being in my early 20s, I wonder alot about what would life bring on. I wonder sometimes if I am going to suffer some tragic events or suffer from any kind of chronic pain. What if I hit someone with a car and i actually killed them?What if i married someone who turned out to be an abuser and i had to get divorced?Everything is possible in life.

-I am almost always living in fear from what's next. I'm always fearing having dreams that wont be reached or leading a life that I hate. I'm always in fear. Its stopping me from

-"If you know me just a little, i would know that my biggest fear is Earthquakes.. i was here that dreadful october the 12, 1992. I felt it. I fear quakes ever since. I feel there is an earthquake about 20 times a day on different levels of alertness.
I was very attentive as a little kid. and i saw all those buildings that fell apart and all those families that"

All these drafts of course were before i went to therapy ( read that la ta7zan book).

I also had more than one attempt to write about my procrastination. Always doing things in the last minute.Always.

-"Having an exam tomorrow. didnt start anything except 3ereft enn e7na 3aleena 3 chapters. maleesh nefs. i am wasting my time either reading some blogs, the papers, or arguing with my sist"

"So why do i procrastinate? I don't really know. But let's say i have to do something by a certain time/date. This is exactly what goes through my mind," I still have time, it would take my about just half an hour to do this,its not hard enough yet. hmmm, ba2aly kam yoom i didnt check that annoying blogger." And i go to check that annoying blogger and you know the rest of the scenario."

-" 7atta el salah ya gjoe bet2a7'reeha le a7'er el wa2t e7'ss!!"

It was fun going though my old never-published posts..Even if i stop blogging one day, i think i would certainly try to get back to this blog, read all the published and not published entries just to remember how great/stupid/fun/naive it was to be me!

1 comment:

Deeeeeee said...

I published a draft today... after reading ur post... I noticed I only publish like 50% of the things I write in this blog, you'll find the post in May's archives. :)