El Feteer El Feteer El Feteer (Part I)

It all started last week, at work. Out of sheer boredom, someone started a conversation about people coming "men el balad" and that they always have to bring Feteer, w mesh w gebna w batt w wezz wellazy mennoh!
Somewhere in the conversation that same person directed his talk to others asking them *humorously* to bring feteer with them the next time they conact "7add mel balad". A couple of mundane jokes here and there and the conversation was closed.

Then the weekend came and i had a missed call from one of my co-workers:

Necessary background: We are 5 all newly hired.The girl that called is not originally from Cairo, and comes from a mohafza where they are generally characterized by generosity.We are also currently located in a temporary location, a partner company, so we are considered as guests to the current workplace and we generally should work on giving a good impression.

I then called her back and we had the following conversation (or similar to it)

S: hi gjoe ezayek 3amla eh?
Me: el7amdolelah
S: a7'barek eh?
Me: ah el7amdolellah
S: kolloh tamam?
Me: ah el7amdolellah (Get to the point)
S: Ba2ollek ya gjoe,
Me: 2omory?
S: howa el manager gaii bokra?
Me: la2 mesh 3arfa wallahy..7'eer?
S: La2 abadan.
Me:(get to the freakin point) te7eby akkalmhoolek as2aloh?
S: la2 la2 la2..ana mesh 3ayzaah yeegy.
Me: (huh?! ) tab 3ayza eh..wallah mesh 3ayzaah yeegy leh? mesh hateegy bokra? law ta3abana 7'ody agaza 3ady (she was actually sick last week, so i thought that was she calling about).
S: la la2..ana asly kont 3ayza a3mel 7aga wel manager mesh mawgood.
Me: (la 7awl wala qowata ellah bellah..men awelha keda) 3ayza te3mely eh ya3ny?
S: la2 abadan.
Me: aywa ya3ny mesh 3ayza el manager yeegy leeh?
S: asly ana kont gayba Feteer w kont 3ayza ageeboh ma3aya bokra. (it gets better)
Me: Silence errr..eee..e7m..tab..hehehhe..errr..Silence (Let alone the facial expressions)

Me (back to my senses): Tab S, enty 3ayza tegeebeeh feen ya3ny? fel sherka?
S: ah ya3ny..ommal hageeboh feen (ah ya3ny..hatgeeboh feen)
Me: mesh 3arfa wallahy, howa..howa ..la2 mesh 3arfa..(i felt really awkward at the time).
S: eh ya bnty eh el moshkela?
Me: la2 abdan..bass 3ala fekra homma kanoh beyhazaro ya3ny makansh feeh da3y tet3eby nafsek ya S wallahy.dah kan hezar ya3ny mesh begad..hezar, mara7, de7k, keda ya3ny..
S: Ah mana 3arfa.bass ana olt ageeb feteer ma3aya w keda..ana mesh 3arfa ba2a ageeb ma3aya 3asal eswed walla abyad?
Me: (Oh Dear God this girl is serious, and she is not listening to me): la la 3asal eh ya benty..balash ya S wallahy tet3eby nafsek ya3ny..dool kano beyhhazzaro.,.
S: la ya benty 3ady mafeehaash 7aga..eh el moshkela ya3ny?
Me: aywa bass hano3d fel sherka nakol feteer ya3ny..mesh 3arfa el makan yesma7 walla la2..
S: hanakol 3ala el tarabeza 3ady..
Me( tahet 3anny deh): tayeb..mesh 3arfa wallahy..tab enty hatgebeeh fe eh?
S: hageeboh fe shantah ( she really meant a plastic bag, bass she calls it just a bag).

At this point I really thought that there is no way talking her out of it.Unless I was rude.
Me: tayeb 7'alas mashy..ana lazem amshy ba2a ya S 3ashan 3andy mo7adret pre-masters.
S: tayeb okay..yalla ashoofek bokra
Me: (Rabbena yostor) okay..salam!
S: ah tab sawany sawany..ageeb ma3aya gebna bardo wallah balash?
Me (OH MY GOD): la la2..gebnet eh ya S..matet3beesh nafsek...fokkek men el gebnah 7'ales.
salam!

To Be Continued..