Ana mesh osayar oz3a..ana taweel w Ahbal !!

Next Saturday isA, I will be visiting a Shrink (a.k.a psychiatrist)

Well, I had my part of 6 months living in fear and anticipating any bad thing that might happen. I grew out of it ofcourse..But I have living in chronic fear from something else since Monday12th October 1992. Sounds familiar?

Yes, Its earthquakes. I fear earthquakes and I don't seem that can get it over with on my own. I am continuously anticipating an earthquake. I wake up in the morning wondering if it will occur today. I go to sleep wondering whether it will occur while I am sleeping.The though of Earthquakes comes to mind not less than 50 times a day. To tell you the truth, it is hard enough for me writing this and spilling it out.

My father has told me that this is "ellet Eman beallah".That i should have more faith than this and not let outrageous thoughts possess my life. I tried.Not hard enough i admit. But again I think I need help. Professional help.

I remember crying more than once telling myself that I can't live like this. I have a very troubled memory on the days of the earthquake and the aftershocks. Childhood memories are very deeply engraved in one's brain and stay with them almost forever!

So My father took the initiative and took an appointment for me next Saturday. It is very funny as an experience going to a shrink. My picture of a shrink is Abdel Menem Madbooly and that guy from "analyze this". I feel sorry for shrinks sometimes. Listening is very tiresome..and alot of times you might feel telling the patient "Go get a life will ya?!"

I feel that deep down, the guy would be like "zelzaal eh bass! howa el wa7ed na2es..nass ma3andahash mashakel w beta2llef 7aga te7'aaf 3aleeha!!"

Very True.Very Funny. :)

Will keep you updated!

The Call(s)

I recently changed the mobile profile. it doesnt ring nor vibrate. Just flashes the caller's name/phone.
Today i placed my mobile behind the laptop and forgot all about it.
I opened the mobile @ 12 to find 11 missed calls.All of which are from my sister.

I thought something happened. I said 7'eer allahoma eg3alo 7'eer..and I called.

Me: Aywa ya sherry feeh 7aga?
Sister(in a tired angry voice):gjoe, enty labsa el gazma el sooda?
Me:
Me:
Me: Aywa ya cherry feh moshkela..?
Sister: Asl ana kont mettal3aha 3ashan albesaha..w kaman mesh la2ya wala daboos 3ashan el tar7a..enty betakleehom walla eh..feen el dababees?
Me: Sorry ya cherry wallahy.. ma7'tesh baly..Im sorry
Sister: Tab a3mel eh delwa2ty?
Me: elbesy gazma tanya (duuh!)
Sister: la2 ana 3ayza albes el gazma deh bezzat..ana elly kont mettala3aha
Me: Tab a3mel eh ya cherry ya3ny..ana fel sho3'l.
Sister: 7'alas 7'alas..mafeesh moshkela..ana hattasaraf bye.

1 minute later:
Cherry calls.

Me: Aywa ya cherry feeh 7aga tany?
Sister: gjoe howa enty labsa eh?
Me:
Me:
Me: Eswed ya3ny..el monto el eswed 3ala el jeeba el baige
Sister(Suggesting a brilliant idea): Tab matelbesy el gazma el bonny..ma7desh wa7'ed baloh
Me: Cherry ya 7abebty ana fl sho3'l..mesh haynfa3 aagy le mazagek ya3ny..
Sister: la la la..ana ha3addy 3aleeky..te7ebby agblek anho gazma?
Me: te7ebby tedeeny be anho gazma?
Sister(laughing): agblek anho wa7da ya gjoe ?
Me(In a i-dont-believe-we-are-sisters tone): Hateely elly gabohaly in my birthday ya cherry.
Sister: heeeh...7ader :D

2 minutes later:
Cherry calls.
Me: haa ya cherry weselty?
Cherry: ah betahaya2ly..howa e7n feen yasta M?
Me: tab ana hanzelek
Cherry: okay.
Me (Still on the mobile): Enty feen ya cherry ana mesh shayfaky..
Cherry: Bossy waraky.
I see the car, hang up and hop in:
We switch shoes. My sister laughs.I comment by saying that I will blog about this btw..
She tells me "la2a ya gjoe matfda7neesh". I give her the "watch me" look and hop out of the car straight to the blogspot.com.

P.S: I know what you must be thinking..eh el nas elly ma3andahash 3'eer gazma sooda wa7da deh..I don't have anything in my defense other than..we have alot of brown shoes (Just in case!):D

Work Work Work

I started work first of this month. and let's just say that I was excited to get the job (although it was totally unplanned for) and I decided to give it a shot. Like any other job, it has its good sides and bad sides. This morning i feel like "I dont see myself in this job 2 years from now". Other mornings I feel like "This job would be great once they start giving me tasks".

I am still at the learning phase. I have a mentor whom I should be asking about how the business works and I also have to learn about this software. The thing about the learning process is that it is not methodological. Reading and asking questions sometimes isn't as smooth as one might think. I also have to grasp the concept of "co-workers". People that are not friends but I see them more than I see my family members.

Given that I decided to look at the bright side of things. I will list down the things that I like about the job(Although momentarily, I don't really like it) .

1- Generally, I should be grateful of getting a job 2 months from graduating, with a reasonable salary.
2- Work is a 5-6 minutes walk away from home. It takes the same time as it takes to finish an M&Ms.In Ramadan specially, being this close from home sure is a blessing.
3- The turnover in the company is very very low! People have been working in the company for years and years and years..People seem to like it here. I don't know what do they like in it awy..but turnover is always a good sign.
4-I am working in an IT team of 22 members (They hiring a few more). I believe that a team of that size is reasonable for an individual's work (like myself) would have a significant impact.
5-The software i am learning belongs to a flourishing and a rare field. Redzo claims that afterwards(let's say 1.5-2 years from now) my salary would be doubled. Lamma neshoof ya Redzo!! I must also mention that it was Redzo who told me to send up my CV and give it a shot(Many thanks..for now :P).

To be honest, the main thing that I don't like about this job is that I am not working in a software development house but rather a support function in a company. This means that there are no standards in the way things go.The team are hard workers, devoted and respectable but are not very professional.Aaah! And my mentor!! I am really having difficult time dealing with him. He is very good mentoring-wise, as in he is never hesitant in explaining (more than once)anything that I dont understad. That's enough right? Naaah! He gets on my nerves.Something in the way he talks and deals with other co-workers. He is what you can call "stiff". Not rude. But stiff.


Seems like survivable.I don't want survivable. I want enjoyable. I'll give it more time of course.I hope I don't regret it!

This is not a commerical

This is the only fanoos I found at home. I love Ramadan. It is for sure the best month of the year.It has been said so in the Quraan. One night is far better than a thousands months.

Ramadan! I miss thee! I mean I love the traffic from 3 to 5 .If you want to go anywhere and started to be on the streets at 3, you would reach your destination at the exact time if you moved 10 minutes before the eftar!
I love how all egyptians ironically gain wieght in this specific fasting month.I mean people have been packing the streets to get all the "Yameesh" as if they were hibernating for winter! I mean com'on people!

I also miss the "7'eyam" with all the sheesha and the chit-chats..There are also the nature-friendly "7'ema" with just the chit-chats.

I am so looking forward to this "so7oor 3ala an3'am el DJ" in some fancy restaurants...
And never forget those 15+ different exclusive Ramdanic TV series. I wonder how many of these series would be exact copies of last year's and the one before and the one before.

Ramadan is a one of a kind opportunity to gather and socialize with friends. you can't get a better atmosphere..People suddenly realize that they have all the time in world,not to read Quraan and Pray a little extra, but to stay all day in the kitchen preparing for the breaking the fast meal..as if we have been fasting for a whole month not just half a day through which we were already sleeping aslan!
And given that I just started work, I can't wait to deal with all my co-workers and manager whom have not had their cigarettes and morning-mood-fixer cups of coffee.

Ramadan I miss thee!!

huh?!

So yesterday I was calling the pharmacy to get some medicine for my father. I dialed the number and before even completing it, I heard that lady's operator voice saying something. I didn't pay attention to it and I thought I just dialed that "raqam tamen zeyada" wrong. I dialed again and here she goes again.I listened to what she was saying "men fadlek da3 el samma3a" I waited to hear the whole message... It turned out that this was the whole message "men fadlak da3 el samma3a,Please something something down"..I was like..huh?! tab tell me why you are not in the mood to process this phone call..I mean what's your problem lady why can't I make that call!!wenty malek a7ott el samma3a walla la2..men fadlek enty mesh 3ayza asma3 sootek.

Stubbornly, I dialed again. She says the stupid message again.I think that this message contains some condescending tone. Its unclear(I understand the part where I have to end the call,but WHY?) and annoying. I might be overreacting to be actually blogging about it. But its like in the movies when someone is calling 911 and another person tells them "Hang up the phone" in a you-have-to-obey attitude.

The expected end:we didn't pay the phone bills..it seems that I inherited my Procrastination habits/talent from my parents :)

A Dream Of Mine!

nefsy 7aga wa7da bass ..7aga wa7da bass teb2a 3edla fel balad deh..Just a small thing..Just a small accomplishment.. w ma7desh ye2olly el ahly..kollena fakreen el match beta3 barchelona lamma kano beyla3boona w homma me3'amdeen w beygro bedahrohom w beygeebo goal!

ayy 7aga teb2a 3edla..Education , tab Medicine, tab Engineering, tab R&D, tab traffic tab industry, tab ayy 7aga. tab balash el 7agat el gadd deh..nefsy neb2a 3deleen fel aflam elly benm3lha..wel a3'any wel masr7ayat..wel e3lanat

tab maslan nenteg 3arabya wa7da bass..yeb2a mashroo3 qawmy w nessadarha barra..tab balash 3arabya..3agala..kawetsh.ayy 7aga ..tab balash 7aga sa3ba keda...nefsy neb2a 3edleen fe 7aga simple based on international standards. Maynfa3sh maslan ne3mel alam zay el e2lam el Parker? walla forshet senan zay Oral-B? walla sa3a zay el sa3at el swesry?

7'alas balash standards w ISO w mesh ISO..ne3mel zay China! ne3mel 7agat baseeta zay maslan le3ab el atfal ao fawanees..ao sagageed Salah w Seba7..7aga teksef..dah 7atta el otn (taweel el teela beta3 el social studies) maba2ash zay el awel...


tab dah 7atta el service fel mata3em... teb2a dafe3 services and taxes add keda (elly betet2assem 3aleena deh) w bardo el ragel ye2oom yermeelak el taba2 fe weshak w ye2ollak law sama7t eshrab besor3a 3ashan feeh da3't ..tab maho tab3an lazem yeb2a feeh da3't 3ashan e7na wa2t el 3'da..7aga 3'areeba geddan!

Nefsy fe mowazzaf 7okooma..mowazzaf wa7ed bass..mobtasem..mesh lazem ye3mel sho3'loh..mesh lazem yeegy fe mawa3adoh..bass yeb2a a3ed mobtasem...eh el moshkela lamma yed7ak keda fe weshak w ye2ollak "Ma3lesh ta3ala bokra" to2olloh maynfa3sh bokra..yed7ak aktar w ye2ollak "Ma3lesh ya ostaz..ta3laa 3ala nafsak shwaya "..sa3teha hateegy ma7'soos 3ashan el mowwazaf el mobtasem..

Nefsy el nass tebbatal tedfa3 feloos lel tamargy 3ashan ta7'od dorha!! 7atta el door beya7'dooh
befloos..Nefsy el nass tebbatal te7regny fe koll 7eta 3ashan ta7'od feloos. Nefsy el nass tebbattal te2ool "Koll Sana wenty tayeba ya fandem" w "Ma3 alf salama ya fandem" w "Rabbena ye7'aleeky ya fandem" w "Rabbena yewaf2ek ya fandem w yenwalek elly fe balek " w "tab w 7eyat el de7ka el 3asal deh" wana ab2a mekkashara aslan!

Nefsy 7aga melly ba7lam beeha deh te7sal..
Nefsy neb2a ma3rofeen barra be ayy 7aga 3'eer el gamal wel ahramat w nahr el nil..None of which has anything to do with what we are doing or will be doing..

Laky Allah ya Masr!

Confused

I've been doing a really stupid mistake. Ever since I graduated, I took people's advice concerning my future. Mainly Family and Friends. They told me what they think is better for me. They told me based on their experiences and preferences. The mistake relies in that I really forgot what I want. Its sounds very trivial problem, but I really don't think that I know what I want anymore. I am confused. What's best for me? What should I hunt for in my life? I want to be happy just like anybody else. But how?Should I go for a oh-so-glamorous career that might result in an unbalanced life? Should I sit home for a while, take a break and have some fun? Should I take the masters degree?Should I be a TA?Should I try to do all that? I don't know. I really dont. Even now when I sit down and think what do I really want to do, I just recall all the advices and get even more confused.I don't know who is right and who is wrong.

I know that I am entitled to do my own mistakes. That's my right,you know, to learn from them and all that. But I dont want to get stuck at a job that I don't want for example. I want to try as much as possible make right choices in life.
I prayed est7'ara..maybe not as much as I did for example before entering college. But Still I get all these conflicting signs that sometimes make me feel even more confused. I mean a couple of days ago some friend told me that I should go for the maximum. I should go as far as I can. She made me convinced. Nothing would stop me.I will try to work hard and prove myself and blabla bla. Then at the evening I saw this sit-com where a mother quits a really good job opportunity because her kids felt that their mom is not as available as she used to be. This means that there are things that get in the way.Major things.There are things that would and will stop me. and that maybe I shouldn't be shooting for the top. Just a satisfactory job position.

Can you see my point? I am making choices mainly based on what people think and what I watch on TV. That is a major mistake on its own. I forgot about me and what I want.
Maybe the problem is that I am thinking too much. Maybe that career thing is so overrated. There are things in life that should take my attention at least as half as much. Such as my health, my family and the happiness of people around me.

I am still confused!

Nawwart Masr..Nawwart Masr..Nawwart Masr

Sometimes it occurs to me that Egyptians are not creative at all. I know this is a false stereotype. To prove it wrong, I would say that I consider myself a creative Egyptian.:P

To prove it right, have you ever watched that no-longer aired commercial about Egypt tourism?
The one with all the celebrities in Egypt, standing in line and everyone say just one line" Nawwart Masr" keda, very bluntly. No Creativity at all. Just the same line over and over and over and over again. And the wide smiles they have on their faces!!I mean these are actors for goodness sake. The easiest thing they do is put a wide smile on thier faces and say welcome!

Egyptians are creative. The problem is that they "beystasehloh". I mean how much effort did it take them to pull this commercial off? Nothing. Give it some thought!
I mean using celebrities in commercial is a long used and proven to be effective strategy. But use it right. 7'aloohom ye3'annoh maslan, ye2ofoh fe dayra w ye2oolha ma3 ba3deehom fe nafas wa7ed, 7add yekkashr for a change.

I see this commericial and i I feel embarrassed. I feel like I want to spend my vacation in Turkey, Malayia or even KSA (Jeddah..3'eeer). Anywhere but here.

I sensed this summer that Arabs are not as everywhere in Egypt as they used to be. There are a lot of Arabs, but not as before. Funny enough i just read a report in the newspaper that the number Arab tourists has decreased to 15% this July. They claimed that it is because hotels have increased their residential costs. So, they escaped to Turkey and Malaysia.

If you ask me, I think that its that commercial...Nawwart Masr!

Posts That Never Got Posted!

Noticing my humble list of blog entries, i realized that i have a lot of drafts. Incomplete posts. They were very funny to read.Not necessarily funny in content. But funny in memory. One time i would start something like:

"Why is life so hard? Why didnt our parents tell us that its not fun at all? Where did all the fun go suddenly? I hate my life. I blame my parents. I'll go grab some choc ". and i was like "yeaaah! i remember this day! i had an argument with my parents and i was frustrated"

Reading some old drafts made me feel sorry for myself too. (se3ebt 3ala nafsy), I had about 3 posts talking about fear. From different aspects:

-Being in my early 20s, I wonder alot about what would life bring on. I wonder sometimes if I am going to suffer some tragic events or suffer from any kind of chronic pain. What if I hit someone with a car and i actually killed them?What if i married someone who turned out to be an abuser and i had to get divorced?Everything is possible in life.

-I am almost always living in fear from what's next. I'm always fearing having dreams that wont be reached or leading a life that I hate. I'm always in fear. Its stopping me from

-"If you know me just a little, i would know that my biggest fear is Earthquakes.. i was here that dreadful october the 12, 1992. I felt it. I fear quakes ever since. I feel there is an earthquake about 20 times a day on different levels of alertness. I was very attentive as a little kid. and i saw all those buildings that fell apart and all those families that"

All these drafts of course were before i went to therapy ( read that la ta7zan book).

I also had more than one attempt to write about my procrastination. Always doing things in the last minute.Always.

-"Having an exam tomorrow. didnt start anything except 3ereft enn e7na 3aleena 3 chapters. maleesh nefs. i am wasting my time either reading some blogs, the papers, or arguing with my sist"

-"So why do i procrastinate? I don't really know. But let's say i have to do something by a certain time/date. This is exactly what goes through my mind," I still have time, it would take my about just half an hour to do this,its not hard enough yet. hmmm, ba2aly kam yoom i didnt check that annoying blogger." And i go to check that annoying blogger and you know the rest of the scenario."

-" 7atta el salah ya gjoe bet2a7'reeha le a7'er el wa2t e7'ss!!"

It was fun going though my old never-published posts..Even if i stop blogging one day, i think i would certainly try to get back to this blog, read all the published and not published entries just to remember how great/stupid/fun/naive it was to be me!

Another Misuse Of Terminology

Scene: ma3rad el nady (abo koll 7aga be 5'amsa geneeh w abo balash kattar menno)

Sister: gjoe, ooly lel ragel 3ayzeen ko7l.
Me: 3ayza wa7ed mascara law sama7t.
Sister: Mascara eh ya gjoe! ana 3ayza ko7l..
Me, (Confused yet Confident): Howa Mascara mesh ya3ny ko7l bel english?
Sister: La2a tab3an, el mascara beta3 el romoosh, el ko7l dah alam ben7ottoh gowa el 3een, 3ashan ye7adedha.
Me: Ya Sater Ya Rab..haat ya 3am ellyy bet2ool 3aleeh dah.
Sister (examining the ko7l): w dah bekam dah law sama7t?
Me: ana mesh hageeb alam ye7'za2lek 3eneek be aktar men 10 geneeh.
El Ragel: be etneen geneeh..bass 3ashan 7'atrek be 3ashra geneeh.

Me Giving A Fake Smile.