A Dream Of Mine!

nefsy 7aga wa7da bass ..7aga wa7da bass teb2a 3edla fel balad deh..Just a small thing..Just a small accomplishment.. w ma7desh ye2olly el ahly..kollena fakreen el match beta3 barchelona lamma kano beyla3boona w homma me3'amdeen w beygro bedahrohom w beygeebo goal!

ayy 7aga teb2a 3edla..Education , tab Medicine, tab Engineering, tab R&D, tab traffic tab industry, tab ayy 7aga. tab balash el 7agat el gadd deh..nefsy neb2a 3deleen fel aflam elly benm3lha..wel a3'any wel masr7ayat..wel e3lanat

tab maslan nenteg 3arabya wa7da bass..yeb2a mashroo3 qawmy w nessadarha barra..tab balash 3arabya..3agala..kawetsh.ayy 7aga ..tab balash 7aga sa3ba keda...nefsy neb2a 3edleen fe 7aga simple based on international standards. Maynfa3sh maslan ne3mel alam zay el e2lam el Parker? walla forshet senan zay Oral-B? walla sa3a zay el sa3at el swesry?

7'alas balash standards w ISO w mesh ISO..ne3mel zay China! ne3mel 7agat baseeta zay maslan le3ab el atfal ao fawanees..ao sagageed Salah w Seba7..7aga teksef..dah 7atta el otn (taweel el teela beta3 el social studies) maba2ash zay el awel...


tab dah 7atta el service fel mata3em... teb2a dafe3 services and taxes add keda (elly betet2assem 3aleena deh) w bardo el ragel ye2oom yermeelak el taba2 fe weshak w ye2ollak law sama7t eshrab besor3a 3ashan feeh da3't ..tab maho tab3an lazem yeb2a feeh da3't 3ashan e7na wa2t el 3'da..7aga 3'areeba geddan!

Nefsy fe mowazzaf 7okooma..mowazzaf wa7ed bass..mobtasem..mesh lazem ye3mel sho3'loh..mesh lazem yeegy fe mawa3adoh..bass yeb2a a3ed mobtasem...eh el moshkela lamma yed7ak keda fe weshak w ye2ollak "Ma3lesh ta3ala bokra" to2olloh maynfa3sh bokra..yed7ak aktar w ye2ollak "Ma3lesh ya ostaz..ta3laa 3ala nafsak shwaya "..sa3teha hateegy ma7'soos 3ashan el mowwazaf el mobtasem..

Nefsy el nass tebbatal tedfa3 feloos lel tamargy 3ashan ta7'od dorha!! 7atta el door beya7'dooh
befloos..Nefsy el nass tebbatal te7regny fe koll 7eta 3ashan ta7'od feloos. Nefsy el nass tebbattal te2ool "Koll Sana wenty tayeba ya fandem" w "Ma3 alf salama ya fandem" w "Rabbena ye7'aleeky ya fandem" w "Rabbena yewaf2ek ya fandem w yenwalek elly fe balek " w "tab w 7eyat el de7ka el 3asal deh" wana ab2a mekkashara aslan!

Nefsy 7aga melly ba7lam beeha deh te7sal..
Nefsy neb2a ma3rofeen barra be ayy 7aga 3'eer el gamal wel ahramat w nahr el nil..None of which has anything to do with what we are doing or will be doing..

Laky Allah ya Masr!

Confused

I've been doing a really stupid mistake. Ever since I graduated, I took people's advice concerning my future. Mainly Family and Friends. They told me what they think is better for me. They told me based on their experiences and preferences. The mistake relies in that I really forgot what I want. Its sounds very trivial problem, but I really don't think that I know what I want anymore. I am confused. What's best for me? What should I hunt for in my life? I want to be happy just like anybody else. But how?Should I go for a oh-so-glamorous career that might result in an unbalanced life? Should I sit home for a while, take a break and have some fun? Should I take the masters degree?Should I be a TA?Should I try to do all that? I don't know. I really dont. Even now when I sit down and think what do I really want to do, I just recall all the advices and get even more confused.I don't know who is right and who is wrong.

I know that I am entitled to do my own mistakes. That's my right,you know, to learn from them and all that. But I dont want to get stuck at a job that I don't want for example. I want to try as much as possible make right choices in life.
I prayed est7'ara..maybe not as much as I did for example before entering college. But Still I get all these conflicting signs that sometimes make me feel even more confused. I mean a couple of days ago some friend told me that I should go for the maximum. I should go as far as I can. She made me convinced. Nothing would stop me.I will try to work hard and prove myself and blabla bla. Then at the evening I saw this sit-com where a mother quits a really good job opportunity because her kids felt that their mom is not as available as she used to be. This means that there are things that get in the way.Major things.There are things that would and will stop me. and that maybe I shouldn't be shooting for the top. Just a satisfactory job position.

Can you see my point? I am making choices mainly based on what people think and what I watch on TV. That is a major mistake on its own. I forgot about me and what I want.
Maybe the problem is that I am thinking too much. Maybe that career thing is so overrated. There are things in life that should take my attention at least as half as much. Such as my health, my family and the happiness of people around me.

I am still confused!

Nawwart Masr..Nawwart Masr..Nawwart Masr

Sometimes it occurs to me that Egyptians are not creative at all. I know this is a false stereotype. To prove it wrong, I would say that I consider myself a creative Egyptian.:P

To prove it right, have you ever watched that no-longer aired commercial about Egypt tourism?
The one with all the celebrities in Egypt, standing in line and everyone say just one line" Nawwart Masr" keda, very bluntly. No Creativity at all. Just the same line over and over and over and over again. And the wide smiles they have on their faces!!I mean these are actors for goodness sake. The easiest thing they do is put a wide smile on thier faces and say welcome!

Egyptians are creative. The problem is that they "beystasehloh". I mean how much effort did it take them to pull this commercial off? Nothing. Give it some thought!
I mean using celebrities in commercial is a long used and proven to be effective strategy. But use it right. 7'aloohom ye3'annoh maslan, ye2ofoh fe dayra w ye2oolha ma3 ba3deehom fe nafas wa7ed, 7add yekkashr for a change.

I see this commericial and i I feel embarrassed. I feel like I want to spend my vacation in Turkey, Malayia or even KSA (Jeddah..3'eeer). Anywhere but here.

I sensed this summer that Arabs are not as everywhere in Egypt as they used to be. There are a lot of Arabs, but not as before. Funny enough i just read a report in the newspaper that the number Arab tourists has decreased to 15% this July. They claimed that it is because hotels have increased their residential costs. So, they escaped to Turkey and Malaysia.

If you ask me, I think that its that commercial...Nawwart Masr!

Posts That Never Got Posted!

Noticing my humble list of blog entries, i realized that i have a lot of drafts. Incomplete posts. They were very funny to read.Not necessarily funny in content. But funny in memory. One time i would start something like:

"Why is life so hard? Why didnt our parents tell us that its not fun at all? Where did all the fun go suddenly? I hate my life. I blame my parents. I'll go grab some choc ". and i was like "yeaaah! i remember this day! i had an argument with my parents and i was frustrated"

Reading some old drafts made me feel sorry for myself too. (se3ebt 3ala nafsy), I had about 3 posts talking about fear. From different aspects:

-Being in my early 20s, I wonder alot about what would life bring on. I wonder sometimes if I am going to suffer some tragic events or suffer from any kind of chronic pain. What if I hit someone with a car and i actually killed them?What if i married someone who turned out to be an abuser and i had to get divorced?Everything is possible in life.

-I am almost always living in fear from what's next. I'm always fearing having dreams that wont be reached or leading a life that I hate. I'm always in fear. Its stopping me from

-"If you know me just a little, i would know that my biggest fear is Earthquakes.. i was here that dreadful october the 12, 1992. I felt it. I fear quakes ever since. I feel there is an earthquake about 20 times a day on different levels of alertness. I was very attentive as a little kid. and i saw all those buildings that fell apart and all those families that"

All these drafts of course were before i went to therapy ( read that la ta7zan book).

I also had more than one attempt to write about my procrastination. Always doing things in the last minute.Always.

-"Having an exam tomorrow. didnt start anything except 3ereft enn e7na 3aleena 3 chapters. maleesh nefs. i am wasting my time either reading some blogs, the papers, or arguing with my sist"

-"So why do i procrastinate? I don't really know. But let's say i have to do something by a certain time/date. This is exactly what goes through my mind," I still have time, it would take my about just half an hour to do this,its not hard enough yet. hmmm, ba2aly kam yoom i didnt check that annoying blogger." And i go to check that annoying blogger and you know the rest of the scenario."

-" 7atta el salah ya gjoe bet2a7'reeha le a7'er el wa2t e7'ss!!"

It was fun going though my old never-published posts..Even if i stop blogging one day, i think i would certainly try to get back to this blog, read all the published and not published entries just to remember how great/stupid/fun/naive it was to be me!

Another Misuse Of Terminology

Scene: ma3rad el nady (abo koll 7aga be 5'amsa geneeh w abo balash kattar menno)

Sister: gjoe, ooly lel ragel 3ayzeen ko7l.
Me: 3ayza wa7ed mascara law sama7t.
Sister: Mascara eh ya gjoe! ana 3ayza ko7l..
Me, (Confused yet Confident): Howa Mascara mesh ya3ny ko7l bel english?
Sister: La2a tab3an, el mascara beta3 el romoosh, el ko7l dah alam ben7ottoh gowa el 3een, 3ashan ye7adedha.
Me: Ya Sater Ya Rab..haat ya 3am ellyy bet2ool 3aleeh dah.
Sister (examining the ko7l): w dah bekam dah law sama7t?
Me: ana mesh hageeb alam ye7'za2lek 3eneek be aktar men 10 geneeh.
El Ragel: be etneen geneeh..bass 3ashan 7'atrek be 3ashra geneeh.

Me Giving A Fake Smile.

Grrrr!

There is this blogger who is really getting on my nerves. Everytime I read an entry I literally get higher blood pressure. The thing is that "this blogger" makes alot of judgments and jumps into alot of conclusions that makes you at first think that "this blogger" is making perfect sense.Everytime I read the entry, and some comments. I really fight the urge of writing something back. I know that whatever I write "this blogger" won't like it and they would somehow think that I am so blinded from the truth/reality/bla bla. I know that whatever arguments we would make it wont go anywhere coz simple I disagree with almost every thing "this blogger" is claiming.

I just feel sorry for the readers who are like "braaavoo! hayel , momtaz". I mean "this blogger" really writes well, structure wise and in building the logic and all that, even better than me I admit. But again I am hating what "this blogger" is calling for. Seriously Get A LIFE!!

I just hope that I dont make enemies in the blogosphere. I have enough at reality.

P.S: Its not you btw :D

تيست

هذا الانتري هو اختبار لسرعة كتابتي باللغة العربية و لان البلوج او المدونة بحاجة الى مظهر جديد او نيو لوك. الساعة الان 4:07
سأقوم بتسجيل الوقت بعد الانتهاء. ان هذه الركاكة في التعبير تذكرني بأفلام الكرتون العربية. أو باأصح المدبلجة. و تذكرني أيضا بأليخندرو و ماريا و تيريسا في المسلسل المكسيسي الجديد مو القديم. و من الظريف ان في الترجمة يستخدمون عبارة "تبا لك ايها الوغد" للكناية عن اي شتائم في الافلام او المسلسات الفكاهية مثل فرندز أو الاصدقاء.

و على صعيد اخر فلقد علمت الاسم الكامل لليبيا. فكما أن الاسم الكامل لمصر هو جمهورية مصر العربية فان الاسم الكامل لليبيا هو: الجماهيرية العربية الليبية الشعبية الاشتراكية العظمى .
هههههههههههههههه او لووووووول


ومن ناحية اخرى, فلقد اكتشف العلماء عقار جديد لمرض السكر و هو مل يعطي الامل لكثير من مرضى السكر . و لكن كغيره من الاكتشافات سيكون هذا اخر خبر عن العقار الجديد و بلبلدي لن يقدم ولا يؤخر.
حسنا لقد سئمت الكتابة بالعربية و لقد طفح الكيل .تبا لك ايها الوغد


الساعة الان 4:27

Man3an lel E7rag

I must say that I've embarresed myself more than once ,blabbering nonsense about whatever just to show that I know what I am talking about. I confess it's very ugly, and painful sometimes. But the area I am the weakest at..is the terminology that girls use to describe certain aspects of clothes. Example words are(Some Are Misspelled, I just wrote them down as pronounced ):

Drappe(bekaser el e)
Cardigan
Shamwa
Cordiroi
Bolerooo
des-mie-seasons
Tallon
Janjaa :D
Toll


These were just a sample of the most common words that girls use and I have to think for a bit before knowing what exactly are they refering to.

You could find me having a conversation like this:

A Friend: Kont fe fara7 ba2a embrae7 wel tallon talla3 3eeny..
Me: Wenty telbesy bana-tallon leeh wenty ray7a fara7 elbesy fostan.
A Friend: Silence (Baby Crying At the Background)
Me (relialsing that I shouldnt have said that): eh ya benty ana bahhazar ma3aky ..hahaha

Me: (asking My sister): Howa eh el tallon dah elly bey2oolo 3aleeh?
Sister: Silence (Another Baby Crying At the Background)...Dah el gazma elly be ka3b ya gjoe.
Me: Ana bat2ked bass ennek 3arfa


You could also easily hear me saying something like this:

El shanta ba2a el cardigan (refering to cordoroi ) elly konty labsaha el marra elly fatet kanet lazeeza..


Man3an lel e7rag, I will stop blabbering the next time I don't understand what I am talking about. But now i know every word on the before-mentioned list and I can confidently start any conversation concerning these terms. 7atta bel amara el gazma el Drappe elly ana lessa gaybaha.

Can't Lose It

I Lost my pessimistic view of life, and Proud. But I cant seem to control my temper yet. I need some anger management. I Can't Lose My Ugly Anger Habits of Shouting, Being outta control and saying "Kalam zay el Semm".

Old/New Interests

Since I am not working yet, there is nothing much to do except some hang outs, TV and internet.
I was a reader once. I used to read a lot, that people picked and made fun of me. It was a part of my character (along with the glasses I used to wear,yea..I had the total looks) .On holidays whenever we go out, I had to have a book. I didn't enjoy people's company as much as I did books.

Something happened since then. I stopped reading as I used before. I think I must re-gain this lost beautiful habit. specially with all the time I have doing almost nothing :D.

But I want to read in very new things. Not just novels. I want to read about astronomy, Islamic Books,Biographies, and Sociology. I also read some arabic poetry some place over the internet, I didnt understand it awy but I thought that it would be nice to enrich my arabic vocab with words nobody uses anymore .

To Deee : I will start with that Pride and Prejudice :$.

I hope the Pacific is as blue

"I find I am so excited I can barely
sit still or hold a thought in my
head. I think it is the excitement
only a free man can feel, a free
man at the start of a long journey
whose conclusion is uncertain...

hope I can make it across the
border. I hope to see my friend
and shake his hand. I hope the
Pacific is as blue as it has been
in my dreams.

I hope.
--Red, The Shawshank Redemption

Makan Esmoh "El-Watan"

People have the most diverse perception of what to call "home". Some consider it a place with family and friends, some consider it a place where one can feel safe and secure. Others simply think of it as a place you say its name when people ask you where you're from. A place from where you get your passport and travel the farthest away from it. Some people never saw their homeland and they might feel that they are not missing out on anything.

I have a confession to make. I cannot define what does homeland mean to me. I cannot define or give an estimate measure of how much I like/dislike this country.
I tried to ask myself some questions as to lead me somewhere.

Will I ever travel abroad if I got the chance? No. I don't want to deliberately leave "home".

Will I ever travel if there was a war here? I will seriously consider the choice.

Will I consider a better job opportunity if abroad? Yes.

What do I hate the most about "home"? Corruption and Hypocrisy.

What do I love the most about "home"? Warmth,Family and Food.. :) I dont know..I think I just feel I Belong here.

What do I want to change the most about "Egyptians"? I hope People would be more tolerant and compassionate towards one another. and the way they drive :)

What do I want to stay the same in "Egyptians"? Their sense of humor and endurance.

Do I ever think "ana 7'osara fel balad deh"? No. Never.

Do I ever think "eh el balad el mota7'allefa deh,mafeesh keda fel denya"? Yes. All the time.

What Do I think is the weirdest thing about the Egyptian Society? The WIIIDE diversity. From one extreme to another.

Do I feel Proud Being an Egyptian? I think this is a highly overrated question. I dont feel proud of anything unless I did it myself, or helped someone do it. So No I dont feel proud simply because a bunch of really strong, persistent Egyptians built the pyramids thousands of years ago(They should be proud). Maybe I'll ask myself this question 10 years from now.


Makan Esmoh el Watan. Makan Esmoh Masr.


Inspired By: Makan Esmoh el Watan TV Program on OTV

Watch Out for the coming cliche: This is a life-changing book. I greatly recommend it to anyone suffering from any kind of mild to severe depression. It is very healing and very soothing.Whenever you feel down and want any level of comforting, this book is like a person hugging you, patting on your back and telling you everything is going to be okay.

But there is something about this book. If you read it when you are not sad, it wont have a great impact, you would say..This guy is telling me stuff I already know. You have to read it when you are blue, otherwise it would be rather out of context somehow.

Things I liked about the book:

- The Title: Straight forward. The content is just reasons for why you shouldn't be sad.

- The structure:It is not divided into chapters, sections, or partitions. It is grouped into paragraphs..So, wherever you open the book and start reading you would feel much better!

- The writing style: the sentences rhyme, the guy writes smoothly and uses very accurate words to describe things. At some point while i was reading the book, i forgot that it was a book i was reading, but rather a person talking to me. A person smiling to me saying that you could live life happier, and more cheerfully than you are.

Lessons Learned:
- I will make a choice of living every single day as happily as possible.
- I will always focus on the bright side of things
- I will always Thank God for the blessings He gave me.
- I will always try to make people around me happier and more assured about themselves.
- I will never worry about the future.
- I will never spend too much time mourning the past.
- I will no longer live in fear..I am liberated from the 24/7 fear system I was living in. It tied my up, It prevented me from doing lots of things (including driving a car)..Fear made me feel like I am 60 years old.

I know myself. and I know that soon enough I will gradually lose the enthusiasm I am now having after reading the book. That's why I am blogging this, so that I can capture this moment..so that i can read it back in sad times.

just the day after i read the book, I was walking down the street and actually enjoying the (august) weather, looking up the trees and listening to the birds singing, I was eneregtic, smiling to myself (or to the world) and had a "bamby-bamby-bamby-bambyyyy" mood. I have to say that I re-found myself. My soul. The one I was "afraid" to let go and live life "la7san 7aga w7esha te7sal".

I feel Liberated!

A miserable Life

I always feel in some kind of struggle, a monologue, where I am either uncertain, afraid, upset, angry or dissappointed. I fail to find happyness. I always look at what's missing and weep over it like a 3 years old. I think I am leading a miserable life. A life full of half-glass-empty thoughts. No matter what acheivements I make and no matter how peaceful life around me seems to be; I am always in search for that stupid small thing that I dont have, or I cant achieve.

I cry a lot . Over nothing most of the time. I am blessed with many things others may only dream to have.Still, I am always under the impression that I am under achieving in my life. or that something terrible is going to happen to me or someone l love. As stupid as this sounds:Every time I read barid el gom3a, I have this inner voice telling me: "This could happen to you".Specially those stories saying how great life started with them and how horrible it turned now. The inner voice then says, "Yea, I must be in the happy phase now, I wonder when my luck would reverse?".


My sister tells me that I have a lot of things in my life that should keep me happy for a at least a decade to come. She always tells me "WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?".


I want to change that. I want to change how I look at life. I want to change how I am always feeling as if prepared for the next horrible thing, so I end up always feeling sad or down. I want to learn from my sister. I mean its like this at home: My sister didnt pass this year, and I graduated with a rank. She is smiling assuring us that everything is going to be okay, ands she is always out with friends. Me, I am always home my face to the screen reading some sad blogs, watching movies and crying at every one of them , and am worrying dead about my future to the extent I get nightmares.


I hope I can be more optimistic about life. I should be excited right? I should be excited about getting a job. I should be excited about being more cultured and more intellectual. I should be excited about driving a car. I should be excited about going out with friends and no more studying and being responsible and all that. I hope I dont waste the best days of my life worrying about what's next and fearing that all I have would suddenly go away. That's very stupid. I'll ask my sister how does she do it when she comes back from the outing.